Hi from 16802, University Park, Pa. I feel that we are well enough into the Fall 2009 semester that I am able to share my observations about this year’s freshman class.

First, and most importantly, from what I’ve tasted, you freshmen are excellent bakers. Thanks for all of the cookies -- keep them coming.

Second, and just as important, you need to slightly work on receiving the change that I roll to you from across the post office window counter!

Third, I’ve heard that you haven’t been given enough of advice or assignments. In order to help you out with those, I would like to offer my two cents… not rolled.

ANSWERS A LA MIKE THE MAILMAN

Here are the top five answers for you to give to your parents during your phone calls, Skype conversations, Facebook messages, Twitter updates and/or my favorite, the classic snail mail.

1. “Although they can’t compare to yours Mom, these are the most delicious meals that I could possibly be eating.”

2. “I can’t believe it, my roommate is such an early-to-bed, studious type. I am getting at least 8-1/2 to 9 hours of

sleep every night, not to mention the amount of studying and work that I get accomplished.”

3. “By now, I can find the Pattee Library with my eyes closed! It’s one of my favorite buildings to be in.”

4. “Could you please send me more money so I can convert them into quarters? I’m doing laundry so regularly every week that I’m running low.”

5. “I miss YOU more. I love YOU more.”

Being a part of this environment for 30 years, I am certain of the following: In order to continue the traditions of Penn State with pride and enthusiasm, it would be best for you as future Nittany Lion alumni to learn about this university’s past while embracing its present and being a key part of its future. Which leads me to...

MIKE THE MAILMAN’S HOMEWORK

These are four questions that you need to research and answer:

1.) By now you have eaten in, signed up for a club at, watched a movie in, found that it’s a shortcut to get to where I’m located at, and rushed through the HUB-Robeson Cultural Center. So, just who were Paul Robeson and Ralph Hetzel?

2.) Do you know the legend behind your Nittany Lion Mascot?

3.) When and why were the colors of this university changed to the current blue and white? (You won’t believe the original colors!)

4.) In order to fully understand your campus, you must embrace the town that it has developed in, the town that you will now be calling home for the next four, five and maybe even 10 years. My suggested reading for your research would be to visit statecollege.com and read the featured columnist article at least every other Wednesday (just kidding, fellow columnists) and read it everyday, freshmen. (Same goes for you, upperclassmen and faculty and staff and… you get the idea.)

If you find that you need help with answers to any of the above questions, feel free to stop by the post office in McAllister Building and I’ll be happy to help you out.

During your visit you can browse the “Freshmen Things To Do” list that I have created and is hanging on the wall. These are must-knows. Take, for example, No. 5: “Call parents.”

And that’s when it’s time to see the above section on “Mike the Mailman’s Answers.”