I just can’t S E see Alabama’s Nick Saban and Auburn’s Gene Chizik coming to Penn State – if only because they collectively make $22,790 a day. 

And the Penn State search committee is not gunning for Doc Holliday (from Marshall; I kid you not).

That’s just the Rocky Long of San Diego State and Charlie Strong of Louisville of it.

So I would take the following FBS head coaches out of the running to be the next head football coach at Penn State:

Art Briles, Baylor – Texas born, bred and boy is he now successful. Hey, maybe former Nittany Lion assistant Brian Norwood, now Briles’ assistant head coach, scored his recent interview at Penn State because he picked up Briles’ phone by mistake.

Dave Cutliffe, Duke – Coach K must take all the good players; Dave has had back-to-back 3-9 records and is 15-33 in four years at Duke.

Kirk Ferentz, Iowa – Getting older (56), too few wins recently, too many problems with players. He ain’t going to the Chiefs, either. (BTW: Didn’t he once buy a condo in State College with Rick Neuheisel and Bill Cowher?)

James Franklin, Vanderbilt, and Mike London, Virginia – Great schools, good young coaches, way too young without a demonstrated ability to shoulder the revenue burden.

Jim Grobe, Wake Forest – Mediocre on the field, excellent at everything else -- Grobe even takes a walk around campus with his wife every day over lunch. 

Dan Mullen, Mississippi State – Job hopper (six schools in 14 years), lacks a strong academic background and has an average 20-17 performance on the field at MSU. No wonder Miss. State is extending his contract.

Tim Murphy, Harvard – Still waiting for a text, a call, an email, a Tweet, a poke from Penn State. Has his blue book ready.

Chris Petersen, Boise State, and Kyle Whittingham, Utah – We covered that earlier this week; did you skip class?

John Shaw, Stanford – A Stanford grad, a Stanford coach, a higher Stanford of success than in the past in Palo Alto than almost never before.

Dabo Sweeney – Fills 96 percent of stadium and has been to the last two ACC championship games. But before 2011, he was only 19-15 at Clemson.

Jeff Tedford, Cal – A smart pick from a smart school in 2006, following a 28-9 record and Pac-10 championship streak. But he’s a C student now, at 12-12 the past two seasons.

Bob Stoops, Oklahoma – Successful, Ohio native, maybe restless, but he must be reminded it is college: he graduates 48 percent of his football players and 44 percent of his black players. Plus, he makes $4 mil a year.

Charlie Strong, Louisville; Skip Holtz, South Florida; and Greg Schiano, Rutgers – Strong and Holtz are both barely over .500 after two seasons, while Schiano is 67-67 at Rutgers…so stop putting him on your candidate lists!

The Field – Either (LSU’s Les) Miles ahead of everyone else or a simply a Joker (Phillips from Kentucky).

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