State College, PA - Centre County - Central Pennsylvania - Home of Penn State University

Penn State Football: One Fish Two Fish, Bolden is Paterno’s Wish

by on April 03, 2011 8:46 PM

One fish two fish red fish blue fish.

“Bolden, please stay,” is JoePa’s wish.
It all makes Paterno deux squeamish,
And (again) gives fans anguish.
Starting may be just the lavish.

Black fish blue fish old fish new fish.

Newsome’s the veteran, all grayish.
Lovable, his PSU days may soon finish.
Once Clark’s No. 2, he just vanish.

Paul Jones is 6-3, 245 biggish,
Sans first-team snaps, still youngish,
After two Blue White TDs, imagine him with polish.

Some are red and some are blue.
Some are old and some are new.

McG’s a fiery redhead who killed in his debut,
Won 4 of his first 5, teammates say he was the glue.
At worst a backup, Joe wants not one QB, but two,
Matt’s Plan B in case Rob bids PSU adieu.

Some are sad and some are glad.
And some are very, very bad.

Jones then Newsome now, with classroom woes to worry dad.
’Mates say Rob is louder, happier since transfer was forbad.
If just one left, the Lions will have a QB triad.
But two gone and just two remain? A kick in the gonad.

Why are they das and glad and bad?
I don’t know. Go ask your dad.

Not starting, not playing may turn a QB into a nomad,
It’s what happens when dads see it as an NFL launchpad.
And coaches like Old Granddad, all gruff, aren’t always rad.
You wonder if kids have a say, or their vote’s a hanging chad.

Some are thin and some are fat.
The fat one has a yellow hat.
From there to here, from here to there,
Funny things everywhere.

As many as 20 players the spring injury bug did ensnare.
More important is who plays offensive line and where.
Can they beat DL swords into 100-yard plowshares?
If they don’t, ’Bama et al will be a QB’s nightmare.

Here are some who like to run.
They run for fun in the hot, hot sun.

Gone is Royster, who knew how to 3,932 yards run.
The QB, either and or, will no November game won
If Silas Redd is just a sportswriter's bad pun.
The run (not pass) in the final three games must be tungsten.

Oh me! Oh my!
Oh me! Oh my!
What a lot of funny things go by.

Let’s ponder this fishy premise and discover why
PSU quarterbacks are 1-8 vs. the Hawkeye.
Rashard, Zack, Michael and Anthony (who did one win pry),
Plus Daryll and that Bolden guy?
Time to bring in CSI.

Some have two feet and some have four.
Some have six feet and some have more.

Some mediocre starters have not been shown the door,
Shaffer and Tate and Andress were hardly cocksure.
It’s the line that matters, the defense, the kicking corps.
Looks like two out of three the fans will adore.

Where do they come from?
I can’t say.
But I bet they have come a long, long way.

It’s 149 miles from McG’s Scranton chalet.
Bolden’s 407-mile trek takes most of a day.
Ah, but where did they come from? Ask Jay.

One was a walk-on, no scholarship, no cache.
The other, a top prep, had eight starts to play.
So whose trip was longer, I daresay?

We see them come.
We see them go.

At Texas, with Colt, two backups their UT time did forego,
While Blue Hen Devlin to the championship he did go.

Some are fast.
And some are slow.

Kevin could play Wildcat, he’s fast – go!
Will Jones, awaiting decisions, eventually reap what he sow?

Some are high.
And some are low
Not one of them is like another.

McG may now the cause of his picks discover.
And Bolden, many hope, will from the blues recover.

Just one question, my football brother:
Why can’t Joe just pick one or the other?

Don't as us why.
Go ask your mother.

The decision, you silly goose,
Is that of the team’s quarterback doctor, Sue's.

Related content

Mike Poorman has covered Penn State football since 1979, and for since the 2009 season. His column appears on Mondays and Fridays. Follow him on Twitter at His views and opinions do not necessarily reflect those of Penn State University.
Next Article
State College Police: Woman Sexually Assaulted in Overnight Attack
April 03, 2011 12:05 PM
State College Police: Woman Sexually Assaulted in Overnight Attack
Disclaimer: The views and opinions of the authors expressed therein do not necessarily state or reflect those of

order food online