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'Now I Call Him Monster,' Aaron Fisher Writes in Book

by on October 23, 2012 11:09 AM

"Silent No More: Victim 1's Fight for Justice Against Jerry Sandusky" was released on Tuesday, a 240-page book written by Aaron Fisher, his mother, Dawn Daniels, and his psychologist, Michael Gillum detailing Fisher's history of abuse suffered at the hands of Jerry Sandusky and his enduring road to recovery. 

"That first summer at camp I called Jerry Sandusky by his first name, like all of us did. Now I call him monster," Fisher writes. The book, written in first-person by each of the contributors, allows them to reflect on the past and how the events unraveled from their point of view. 

Writing style varies throughout the book, as it is broken up into sections, each author having his or her own chapter and distinctive voices.

Neither Daniels nor Gillum testified during Sandusky's trial in June, and the book was a way for them to fill in the gaps where Fisher was not present or too young to understand what was going on.

Fisher said it took him too long to understand what "it" was – it being sexual abuse – but knew that the physical contact made him feel uncomfortable. Fisher writes that by the time the touching escalated, he was too scared to say anything because Sandusky was supposed to be "a good guy."

It wasn't a 'father figure' that Fisher was searching for in Sandusky, either, he writes. His grandfather, whom Fisher calls 'Pap,' was always there for him.

"I wasn't looking for a father figure – I had one in [Pap]. So when Jerry was paying so much attention to me, I wasn't thinking, 'Wow, this is great. I finally have some kind of a dad paying attention to me.' I just thought it was cool that Jerry was asking me my opinion on stuff at the camp and that that he thought I was a good athlete.

"I started to feel real lucky and proud that I was Jerry's favorite kid at camp," Fisher writes. 

Daniels opens up about her relationships with men, which were rocky, and she spent most of Fisher's childhood as a single mother. She admits not knowing, initially, who Sandusky was, but later was glad that a "pillar of the community" seemingly wanted to help her son.

"I know now how wrong I was, but at the time I believed that my child would tell me anything and everything.

"I also believed that Jerry Sandusky was some sort of angel," Daniels writes.

Gillum offers a professional perspective and also discusses Fisher's tough road to healing he's still on. His first chapter is titled, 'Killers of the Soul,' and the doctor writes, "the sexual abuse of a child is emotional homicide. Child abuse murders the soul."

"I've worked in the is field for 25 years ... and I have never seen a case as bad as Aaron's," Gillum writes.

"This case was the absolute worst not only because the abuse went on for so long but also because of the depth of the betrayal."

Fisher first revealed his identity publicly on an ABC News '20/20' special that aired on Friday.

Sandusky, 68, was sentenced to 30-60 years on Oct. 9 for his sex crimes. 



Laura Nichols is a StateCollege.com news reporter and @LC_Nichols on Twitter.
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