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Ohio State has emerged as Penn State’s biggest rival, at least in football. And why not? The series is tied 12-12. Ohio State has scored 438 points in the series, Penn State 426. Both programs have won more than 800 games. The teams have split the past four games. In 2008, the two teams were co-champions of the Big Ten Conference.

Penn State follows Ohio State in the Big Ten alphabet. Both are large state universities, sharing a geographic border. Both have more than 40,000 students on their main campuses. Both have starting quarterbacks from the state of Ohio (Penn State won out on that one).

And both have great gridiron traditions. But that’s about where the similarities end. Which is fine. The differences are what help make this a great football rivalry. And there certainly are a lot of them.

We hate to do this to the visiting Buckeyes, but we’re going to take the next few hundred words — many of them using dotted i’s that I did myself, sans tuba — and point out a few of the more pointed differences between the two opponents. This shouldn’t hurt too much. Unless you’re from out-of-state.

• • •

Their coach heard of Woody Hayes. Our coach beat him.

Ohio State’s president left campus in 1997 and came back in 2001, two other universities later. Penn State’s president never went away.

Their president was at West Virginia in 1981-85. We beat West Virginia in 1981, 1982, 1983 and 1985.

Their president wears a bow tie.

Their president (even worse) wears a red bow tie.

Their head coach wears a red sweater vest. Our coach rolls up his khakis.

Their colors are scarlet and gray. Ours were kinda like that (black and pink), then we got real colors.

Ohio State was featured on “Dirty Jobs.” Penn State had its very own series, “Paranormal State.”

Their stadium seats 102,329. Ours seats 4,953 more.

Their population is 11,485,910. Ours is 962,269 more.

Their stadium is named after a thin U-shaped iron rail. Ours is named after a general.

Their head coach has 90 victories at his present school. Our head coach has 301 more wins at his present school.

Their bands know how to make an “i.” Our band knows how to spell entire words.

Their radio analyst, Jim Lachey, was an All-American. Our radio analyst, Jack Ham, was an All-American, is in the College Football Hall of Fame and is in the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

Their players get little buckeye stickers for their helmets when they do something good. Our players stopped getting stickers in pre-K.

Brutus the Buckeye has a big head and small everything else. The Nittany Lion has big teeth, big paws and a big tail.

Brutus is a nut. The Nittany Lion has…well, he’s a male, no doubt about that.

Patricia Heaton, who was in “Everybody Loves Raymond,” is an Ohio State grad. Julius Epstein, who co-wrote the greatest movie of all time, Casablanca, with his brother, is a Penn State grad.

Nine guys from Pennsylvania — none of them named Paterno — signed the Declaration of Independence. Ohio wasn’t even a state back then.

A statue of an errant Italian explorer is at their state house. A statue of an Italian football pioneer is at our stadium.

Ohio statesmen include back-to-back governors William Bebb and Seabury Ford. Pennsylvania statesmen include Ben Franklin and William Penn.

Their coach pulled his team off the field and forfeited in the first meeting in 1912. We were too tough for them.

They were ranked No. 2 when Penn State visited on Nov. 7, 1964. We beat them 27-0.

It can be their starting quarterback in 1978 made a few mistakes (five interceptions among them). Our quarterback that day was runner-up in the Heisman voting.

Fourteen. Sixty-three (the series’ biggest blowout, 1994).

Their former running back is in ESPN the magazine for all the wrong reasons. Our head coach is in Sports Illustrated for all the right reasons.

They’re ranked 15^th in this week’s BCS standings. We’re 11^th.

They’re ranked 18^th in U.S. News & World Report’s Top Public Universities. We’re 15^th.

They don’t even come close. Our students love Penn State (we’re the No. 1 party school in the country).

They don’t even come close. High school students love Penn State (more high seniors apply to Penn State than any other college in the country).

Their university is in Columbus. Ours is in Happy Valley.

Their teams run in Nikes. Our alum runs Nike.

They watch the Disney Channel. Our alum invented it.

They like nice weather. Our alumni predict it.

No such thing as Tresseltown. We have Paternoville.

They only have high rises. We have Mount Nittany.

Woody punched a player. Joe ran after a ref.