‘Lend me your eyes and I’ll change what you see.’
For Andy Merritt, a teacher at State College Area High School, those ten words—a lyric from a song entitled ‘Awake My Soul’—are a poetic lesson in empathy. “In our society today, it’s all about ‘me,” said Merritt, who teaches government at State High. ‘I don’t see the world that way. I succeed when we all succeed.’
After the recent spate of suicides by gay teens, Merritt couldn’t help thinking whether he has done enough to prevent harassment and bullying in his own school. He shared his feelings with a student who remarked, ‘It isn’t your fault kids are doing these things.’
Merritt disagreed. In his mind, we’re all responsible.
Last Wednesday night Merritt decided to make a video that would capture that sentiment. He started by writing a call-to-action, imploring State High students to think about these deaths in an entirely new way. With the help of his 13-year-old daughter, he chose ‘Awake My Soul,’ from the band Mumford & Sons, as the soundtrack to his message.
I ended up talking to Merritt after his video ended up in my inbox this week. My own reactions to the suicides, and the harassment that caused them, were entirely personal. In just seven years my son will be a teenager; my niece just turned 13. The short path from bullying to suffering—and in this case, suicide—scares the hell out of me.
I drew hope from the idea that my kids could one day sit in Merritt’s classroom. Or that students in my hometown were momentarily stepping out of their own cushy lives to think about how it might feel to be uncomfortable in your own skin.
I asked Merritt how the video idea unfolded. On Thursday morning he began enlisting students to read his words on camera.
It is not too late, a portion of his statement entreats. Say no to hate and intolerance, say no to prejudice, say no bigotry, say no to the student telling the joke.
Come out of your caves and drag your friends with you. It is not easy but it must be done.
Or here we will sit once again wondering why a 13-year-old would commit suicide.
When all along we knew the answer.
Them equals us.
So who is responsible for these deaths?
We are.
I am.
By the end of the day almost 100 kids showed up in the hallway to read portions of that statement. The jocks were there, as were members of the school’s Gay Straight Alliance. In fact, many of the kids featured in the video probably had never spoken to one other before. Some just held up a piece of paper with the words “I AM,” which they read with youthful determination. After school 40 kids showed up to discuss how the piece should be edited.
That last step was performed by Sara Birmingham, a 17-year-old State High senior who hadn’t even heard of the video until that morning. Initially the project was a way to use her iMovie expertise to help out a favorite teacher.
Birmingham finished around 2 a.m last Friday. Several hours later they showed the video to the entire school. ‘I wasn’t sure what the reaction would be,’ she said. ‘But when I looked up and saw my teacher crying, I knew people would get something out of it.’
When the school aired the video again Monday, a student walked into Birmingham’s classroom with tears in her eyes. She hugged Birmingham and said, ‘Thank you for doing this.’
The video went viral, and that evening, at the request of the school board, Birmingham showed the movie at the group’s weekly meeting.
I’ve watched the clip several times, and have heard from family members as far as Oklahoma who were affected by it. But I can’t help but to wonder: How soon before the same students who were holding up those signs start snickering when the cool kid in class starts making fun of someone?
I apologize to Birmingham for asking that question. No one wants to be the person to tell a 17-year-old she can’t change the world.
But Birmingham has a thoughtful response. ‘It’s a definite challenge,’ she concedes. ‘It would be a shame to think we’ll let people just be inspired by the video and let everything fall back into place—which is probably what will happen unless we work really hard to not only continue what we’re doing, but step up we’re doing.’
Merritt, for one, isn’t finished. He envisions the ‘I AM’ proclamation on T-shirts and as the basis for an art project. And he wants to partner with the schools attended by the teens who killed themselves.
Last week he sent e-mails to their principals.
His subject line: ‘We stand with you.’
Related coverage
