- Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
- Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan.
- What’s the best pickup line?
- Probably Ford’s.
- My friend Marty owned a DeLorean.
- He drove it from time to time.
- What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
- Hailing taxis.
- Why did the cop pull over the U-Haul truck?
- He wanted to bust a move.
- What kind of car does a Jedi drive?
- A Toy-Yoda!
- Half of all Chevy trucks ever made are still on the road today…
- The other half made it home.
- Did you hear about the car with a wooden body, wooden tires and a wooden engine?
- It wooden go.
- A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar. The bartender says, I’m fine to serve you but you better not start anything.
- My wife gave birth to our son in the car on our way to the hospital.
- We named him Carson.
- I was really stoked about buying one of those new electric cars. But when I got to the dealership the prices were just too shocking!
- What is a Toyota lover’s favorite food?
- Taco-mas.
- What’s a Tesla’s favorite dance move?
- The electric slide.
- Why does it cost so much to put air in a tire?
- Inflation.
- TOP 10 REASONS TO BUY A NEW CAR
10. Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.
9. Instead of an air bag, there is a whoopee cushion taped to your steering wheel.
8. You lose the stoplight challenge to a 14-year-old on a moped.
7. 15 minute Jiffy Lube needs to keep your car for three days.
6. When you gas up, the attendant asks, “Can I re-duct tape that windshield for you?”
5. Thieves repeatedly break in your car just to steal the “Club.”
4. While sitting at a stoplight, people keep running up to you and asking if anyone was hurt.
3. For the last five years, you’ve had to settle for making “vroom, vroom” noises while in the driveway.
2. You keep losing dates on left turns.
1. Traffic reporters start referring to you by name when discussing morning tie-ups.
- How do you double the value of a Chevy?
- Put gas in it.
- What do you call a Ford Fiesta that has run out of gas?
- A Ford Siesta.
- If Dodge made an electric car, what would it be called?
- A Dodge Chargeable
- When is a car not a car?
- When it turns into a driveway.
- What does BMW stand for?
- Broke My Wallet.
- What does FORD stand for?
- Fix Or Replace Daily.
- What does the car brand FIAT stand for?
- Fix-It Again Tomorrow.
- What is a frog’s favorite type of car?
- A Beetle!
- Did you hear about the man who drove his expensive car into a tree?
- He found out how the Mercedes bends.
- My wife said I could never make a car out of spaghetti.
- You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta.
- What kind of car does a dog hate?
- Cor-vets.
- How does a German cowboy say hello?
- Audi.
- Did you hear about the accident involving the guitar truck?
- It was a fender-bender.
- What kind of car does a sheep drive?
- A Lamborghini.
- What does a Volkswagen run on?
- Beetlejuice.
