Russell Frank
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Isn’t It a Riot, Russell’s on a Diet
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I was a chubby kid. I was a chubby kid but I wasn’t the chubbiest kid. That was my friend Arthur, to whom I owe a debt of gratitude because he bore the brunt of the teasing that has been the lot of every chubby kid since the invention of Mallomars. To counteract the shunning,…
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The Problem with Vacations: They End
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I always tell students in my column-writing class: You’re only allowed to write about your vacation if everything goes kablooey. My vacation was fabulous. Then, kablooey.
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News from a Parallel Universe: TPU Prez Says No to More Dough
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Citing Teen Pants University’s budget woes, President Elida Benniedup has declined the increase in her compensation package approved by the Board of Trustees at their February meeting. “Of course I’m honored that the trustees think my performance to date is deserving of additional compensation,” Benniedup said in a statement, “but at a time when $94…
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Preliminary Report of the Pennsylvania Name Commission
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It’s true. A blue-ribbon commission has been meeting behind closed doors to rename the Keystone State. I know this because They, the chair of the commission, asked me to be one of the nominators.
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Of Right-Setting and Ring-Fencing: Old Mainese as a Second Language
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Inspired by Penn State’s road map for the future, and in keeping with my commitment to delivering the highest value to readers, I have enrolled in a class in Old Mainese, the better to communicate my strategies for positioning this column for future success in an evolving and challenging journalism landscape. In what follows, I…
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New Hope for Subu Vedam
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The case against Subramanyam Vedam was always flimsy. Now it may have disintegrated altogether. Vedam has been locked up for 40 years, having been arrested and then convicted of murdering his roommate, Thomas Kinser. Both men grew up in State College and were the sons of Penn State professors. Both were 19 years old in…
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What’s So Funny? Ask My Students in 16 Weeks
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Next week I’ll begin teaching a course I’m calling Humor in Journalism. (Don’t tell my students that I plan to distribute Groucho glasses on the first day of class to put us in the right mood. I want it to be a surprise.) Perhaps, with wars raging, Earth burning and the leading presidential candidates ranging…
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Like It or Not, This Is What Democracy Looks Like
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A couple of cops were among the 150 or so folks in the standing-room-only crowd that turned out for Wednesday night’s State College Borough Council meeting. They weren’t needed. The meeting, which culminated in Council unanimously passing a resolution calling for a ceasefire in Gaza, was emotional, but civil – amazingly so. Mayor Ezra Nanes…
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Tonight at 6: State College Takes Another Crack at a Ceasefire Resolution
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Russell Frank offers two columns this week. For a lighter read, click here. A resolution calling for a ceasefire in Gaza is back on the table for State College Borough Council. Council will consider a rejiggered version of the resolution today at 6 p.m. Two weeks ago, council had pulled back the previous iteration of…
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Can I Borrow a Cup of Vodka? (It’s Not for Me, It’s for My Tineola Bisselliella)
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Russell Frank offers two columns this week. For a more serious read, click here. At 9 a.m. on Saturday, I asked Mary across the street if she could spare some cheap vodka. She didn’t bat an eye, and not because I’m known as the neighborhood drunk. In fact, I had no intention of drinking the…