It’s been a while since Big Daddy JoeBa (BDJ) let me write a guest column (see my previous work here) when I was living in Happy Valley and hanging out with Penny, Tucker and Bentley and frequenting Tudek Dog Park. A lot has happened since then as we are now living in the LowCountry of South Carolina. Talk about your dog days of summer! I love it here most of the year, but doggone, it does it get hot this time of year.
We are coming up on our second-year anniversary of moving to my birth state. For those of you who are new to my story, I was born in South Carolina but was relocated to Centre County PAWS in State College in October 2017. The PAWS staff were really nice and introduced me to the Battistas: Big Momma Heidi (BMH2), Sister, Jon-Jon, Ry-Ry and BDJ.
I just turned 50 (in human years) in June so this was a good time to reflect on my dog’s life so far. Based on my talks with my pals at Sun City North, South and West dog parks, (that’s right, I got three to choose from!), I have it pretty good. My new set of friends includes our next-door neighbor Heidi (aka H4 so as not to be confused with Big Momma Heidi who we call H2), Cassie, Haley, Mojo, Albert, Buddy, Oliver, Cooper and a bunch more.
I have to mention the new kid on the block, Brady. For some reason he’s named after a GOAT. It seems like yesterday he was a pup, and we were all rolling him at will. Now he’s almost as big as me, and wow, does he have a lot of energy!
One big change, besides the weather, is that BDJ and BMH2 took me to a place called Pet Paradise for doggy daycare. Pet Paradise? I don’t know about that. Yeah, there were lots of other dogs there, including a few that I recognized from the dog parks, and the place had a fancy pool and cameras so the whole family could see me. A few weeks later I was on a ride with H4, and we thought we were going to the North Dog Park. Suddenly we pulled up to that Paradise place again. This time we stayed overnight. Hmmm, what are they up to? Not sure but something seems rotten in the dog world.
All I know is Big Daddy went on some church youth camp trip to Daytona Beach and then flew out west where people say a lot of the potatoes come from to do that hockey thing he does. Next thing I know big brother Jon-Jon was here hanging with me and BMH2. Just when I got used to him being around, he disappeared back to D.C., wherever that is.
When BDJ finally came home, things calmed down until someone named Hurricane Debby came uninvited and ruined my daily meetings with my pals at the dog park for three days. Big Daddy Joe kept putting this ugly, yellow rain coat on me, which by the way has always been too small for me. I guess BMH2 saw how tight the thing was on me, so she ordered me a new one from the Amazon. I guess they make really good doggy raincoats in Brazil.
We were spared any damage or flooding from that Debby thing, so we started making our trips back to the dog park. Big Daddy kept saying “F-Troop’s back to normal!” and all the old folks at the dog park started laughing. Me and my canine friends just tilted our heads in our best “say what?” look. F-Troop’s back to normal? Must be a Boomer thing.
Then I overheard BDJ talk about going to the DD…Doggy Doctor. I knew something was up because he was trying to feed me a piece of cheese at 7:30 a.m. I just watched him plug one of those doggy downer pills between the slices of the good cheese. Come on man! How dumb does he think I am? So, I spit that one out and he gives me a couple small bites of pill-less cheese. I figure I’ll play along and let him think he’s got me fooled and I got some freebies.
After he slips me three pieces, here comes the original piece that I know has the pill. I take it to make him think he’s got me and then…I spit it out. Haha! What a loser! Oh, what the heck, since I’m 50 now, I figured I would be mature and I finally took my medicine, but only after he put it between two pieces of Virginia ham.
Anytime he tries to slip me doggy downers, I know it means one of two things: He’s going to try and trim my nails by himself (good luck with that); or he’s taking me to see a doggy doctor. Ugh, it was the latter. Just when I was used to seeing Doc Benincasa at Halfmoon Valley Animal Hospital, BDJ gets the idea that I need a DD closer to our new home. As we arrived at Veterinary Medical Center of Hardeeville, I did my best imitation of an anchor and wouldn’t get out of the car. But I could see BDJ was growing impatient, so I caved in.
Still, I was determined to show these newbies in South Carolina who was really in charge when they tried to get me on their scale. Unfortunately, BDJ anticipated my strategy, scooped me up and put me on the scale before I knew what happened. GRRRRRRR! It said 83 pounds. No way! That scale is definitely busted.
We were moved into a private suite where we met several nice young lady technicians that tried to give me a treat. But I gave them my stink eye and after several futile attempts, they gave up. The staff did treat me really nice, so I let them trim my nails. OK, maybe the drugs kicked in. Regardless, Big Mamma Heidi was texting my big brothers and sister all about it.
I caught wind of BDJ and BMH2 talking about the next few weeks, including traveling without me to “Mini-Soda” to see Ry-Ry. I got a bad feeling about this, and it probably has that Pet Paradise place involved. We’ll see. I also hear Sister is coming to visit me soon! That will be so much fun, and she always brings me great treats.
Then we drive north to Da’Burgh to visit MeeMaw and Pap-Pap Battista in Penn Hills. MeeMaw’s homemade meatballs are the best in the world. I’ll get to see my cousins Jax and Lacy too. After a few days we get to go back to Happy Valley! I can’t wait to see my old friends at Tudek Park and especially my great friend Penny and the Fritton family. I bet Hadley is all grown up!
Sister and Jon-Jon will drive up to Happy Valley so all of the family will be together! They’re all going to go watch a bunch of Lions battle some Falcons inside a stadium named after a Beaver. Weird. Then we go back to Da’Burgh so Ry-Ry can travel to that place with all the lakes, Mini-Soda.
Well, there you have it my carbon-based friends: another version of Dog Tales. I hope it made you smile and wag your tail.
