It’s that time of the year when we give all our good intentions to complete our New Year’s resolutions another try. I can probably say I have realistically been setting New Year’s Resolutions since my mid-teens, so consider this my 50th anniversary. Over the years it’s been: getting stronger, getting faster, gaining weight, losing weight, reading more, spending less time on my digital distraction device, etc.
We won’t talk about my completion rate on those resolutions, but let’s just say it’s way below the Mendoza Line. Baseball aficionados know this benchmark that is named for Mario Mendoza, a former less-than-stellar Pittsburgh Pirates shortstop. He hit below .200 in five of his nine seasons as a Major Leaguer, and if you fell below that line as a hitter, a trip to the minors was in the future. He’s not to be confused, of course, with current Indiana University football star QB Fernando Mendoza, who has a completion rate of .735 this season.
Well, at the urging of my family, most notably my oldest son, Jonathon, my 2026 New Year’s resolution is to deal with my inflammation and leaky gut issues (and lose some weight!) by going all in on the Elimination Diet. What in tarnation is an elimination diet?
I already don’t like the sound of it! Simply put, it’s a short-term diet that attempts to isolate food intolerances, sensitivities and allergies by eliminating potentially harmful foods and gradually reintroducing them to identify triggers. It has a lot of benefits depending on what plan you choose.
Disclosure: Please consult with your doctor and/or nutritionist before attempting any diet.
There are a number of plans out there for the Elimination Diet (not to be confused with the AIP Diet – autoimmune protocol diet) so please take the disclosure seriously. The biggest difference with the AIP and Elimination Diet is that the AIP is a stricter, phased-in regimen that targets autoimmune diseases. Again, if you are serious, choose your plan with professional guidance, and choose wisely.
I am trying my best to follow the “new food pyramid” that was recently introduced too. According to the Department of Health and Human Services website, the new food pyramid emphasizes protein, full-fat dairy, healthy fats, fruits and vegetables, while de-emphasizing whole grains and highly processed foods. This shift aims to promote a healthier diet and reduce chronic diseases linked to poor nutrition, per HHS.
It’s not easy to do an elimination diet since so much of what we traditionally buy and eat is processed and it requires a very disciplined approach to shopping, reading labels and keeping track of what foods impact you and in what ways. It’s also not cheap, because you are buying organic, fresh foods (all meat, poultry and fish should also be pastured, grass-fed or wild-caught) and they are harder to find.
Sounds like a lot of fun, eh?
So far, I’ve eliminated 7 pounds since the New Year. The only other thing this diet seems to have eliminated is 95% of food with a taste I like. No sugar (yup, no chocolate), no artificial sweeteners, no caffeine (what, no morning cup of Joe?), no dairy, no gluten, no fruit juices, no alcohol, no corn, no soy, no white potatoes, no eggs, legumes, no grain and almost every fruit. In my best angry John MacEnroe voice, “You can’t be serious!”
I’m trying, I really am, but I am going to test my commitment and stick-to-itiveness for sure. All this to battle inflammation and fix my leaky gut? Isn’t there just a pill I could take? I mean, I have to eat broccoli, for goodness sakes!
I hate broccoli. Specifically, I hate cooked broccoli. I get nauseous even smelling cooked broccoli. The same goes for cauliflower. Raw, I’m eating them like popcorn. Cook’em and I’m leaving the room. There’s a reason my father and I sit at the same end of the table at family holiday meals: they can keep the broccoli at the other end!
Don’t get me wrong, I love vegetables, I mean really love them…raw! I grew up as a kid coming home from school and slicing a head of lettuce in half, peeling a whole cucumber, slicing up some celery or carrots and sprinkling salt on them and grazing like a rabbit for the next 30 minutes. I can down a veggie tray like Joey Chestnut downs hot dogs. I even eat raw broccoli and cauliflower (preferably with ranch dressing…whoops, can’t have it).
This all gets phased in, but dummy me decided to go cold turkey on caffeine. HUGE mistake. My withdrawal was so bad I looked like a drug addict on some city alley. I tried playing softball a few days into the detox and my hands were shaking and my brain fog so thick I think I swung and missed at a warm-up pitch and thought it was a strike. So, I eased off with some half-caff and now decaffeinated but without my French Vanilla creamer and Splenda, I may as well just accept the withdrawal symptoms. Black coffee? Plain tea? Yuck! I’m a sweets guy.
As for other drinks, it’s mostly water with lemon. Coconut water has replaced my Gatorade Zero. Coconut milk has replaced my oat milk. I kind of like the coconut yogurt with blueberries. I also do get to eat strawberries, blueberries and blackberries. I even like the smoothies and ice cream made from frozen blueberries, strawberries, bananas and coconut milk in our new Ninja Creami Scoop and Swirl machine.
It does get a little better. I can eat steak, chicken, and fish (and I love fish, just can’t have any shellfish, doggone it!). One morning my wife says, “Steak and cooked veggies for breakfast.” Wait, I get to have filet mignon for breakfast? Ok, I’m good with that plan. Well, until she reminded me, I have to have the cooked veggies too. Woe is me.
I’m really determined, and as my wife knows, that means I’m all in. Which usually means I jump the gun and may miss a few steps. Consider my return to exercise after neck surgery. Did I slowly return to spinning class and pace myself? Heck no! I jumped on that spinning bike and I went all Navy SEAL level of intensity on day one and — boom! — I felt a deep strain. Dang, I pulled my groin. Yup, but not only that, I ended up with a sports hernia and had to have surgery. Duh.
We met with some friends at Nectar, one of our favorite restaurants in Old Town Bluffton, last weekend. It was our first real temptation since starting the process. I watched everyone get their favorite drink, eat appetizers and order tempting foods like fried chicken on waffles (it’s a southern thing). I had the grilled flounder with no sauce, and my cooked vegetables. But I realized I actually liked the way they prepared the veggies, sort of half-cooked. My meal came with golden rice and shhh…I ate it! There, I admit it. I cheated. Wait, what? My wife informed me that I was OK because grains aren’t eliminated until the next day. \Thank you, God!
My Fellowship of Christian Athletes colleagues and I went to lunch Monday after a staff meeting. They had a good laugh at my expense as I had to remove my temporary plate (I’m getting a couple dental implants) in order to eat my chef‘s salad (with no tomatoes, cheese or dressing). I channeled my best Bobby Clarke toothless smile to yuk it up a bit. It did spark a discussion about why people do the elimination diet, as several of my teammates have already been through it. They pledged their prayers and support.
Good thing because I’m going to need a lot of prayers and support if I’m going to survive this diet!
