I want to talk about crutches.
When I say crutches I mean the physical device whose purpose is to assist you in moving around during those times when, for whatever reason, you are unable to do so on your own.
Now, a crutch can also mean any source or means of support or assistance, physical or otherwise. I would be remiss if I didn’t note that the State College Area School Board is currently in need of a crutch. One of its members is resigning effective June 18 – next Wednesday – which means the Board needs to fill the vacancy until someone can be elected in the Nov. 4 municipal election.
This is not a new circumstance for the SCASD school board. In January of 2023 they were in the same situation and I wrote an entire column exhorting the board to show a little diversity, equity and inclusiveness in their choice. They chose not to.
Anyway, in this instance I would suggest they just do what they did then, but without the time-wasting process for them and us. Just appoint former board member Jim Leous to fill the vacancy.
Pennsylvania’s Public School Code, Act 14, Chapter 3, Section 15, states that any school board vacancy in a school district of the second class (that would be SCASD), shall be filled by a majority vote of the remaining members of the board. They’re not required to seek applications, vet candidates or go through an interview process. Since whoever they appoint for this vacancy will only be on the board for about five months, they should just get it over with, save everyone time and money and get to where they would probably go anyway.
As I said, just appoint Jim Leous.
But, enough talk about organizational crutches, let’s get back to the business of physical crutches.
An article in the June 2014 issue of the journal “International Orthopaedics” gave a history of crutches throughout time. From the ancient Egyptians to the 21st century, it suggested that the crutch is the oldest tool of orthopaedists. Additionally, the article stated that in terms of progress from antiquity until today crutches are likely the most neglected medical tool of all time. Bottom line – they haven’t changed much in thousands of years.
This is important to me because less than two weeks ago I suffered a “Jones fracture” in my right foot. For those not acquainted with the term, a Jones fracture is a break of the bone on the pinky-toe side of your foot. Also known as the fifth metatarsal bone.
Jones fractures are one of the most common foot fractures – so common that they have a name – which is an homage to the British orthopaedic surgeon and war hero Sir Robert Jones, who first wrote about them in the “Annals of Surgery” in 1902 after suffering one.
Now, this is only the second time I’ve broken a bone in my life. The first was just over 30 years ago when I was playing in a rec league softball game. Our team was losing badly and I, with a strong arm, was stationed in centerfield. We were playing deep for a particular batter, but instead of the high fly ball we were expecting, he hit a low line-drive screamer directly at me. The catch is there was a runner on third. As I ran and snagged the ball on its first bounce, I thought to myself, “That guy isn’t getting home!”
Sure, the smart play at any time, and especially being down as many runs as we were, would have been to just throw to second, keep the batter from advancing and let the runner score. But I’d had enough of getting beaten, had a history of throwing runners out at home from the outfield and, well, I was angry! So, at a full run I transferred the ball from my glove to my throwing hand, reared back and let it fly.
To this day I’ve never found out where the ball went. But the pain in my right arm was excruciating.
Never having had a dislocated shoulder, when my brain immediately went searching for possible causes of this searing agony in my arm, it quickly latched onto this scenario. And, I must not have looked or sounded OK to my teammates, as the other outfielders were quickly upon me. In between my anguished moaning, I said to them, “I think I dislocated my shoulder.” One of my teammates indicated some knowledge of that problem, put his chest against my shoulder, wrapped his arms around me, and squeezed. It was quickly clear that a dislocated shoulder was not the issue.
About that time I was getting a little light-headed and sat down on the grass. Luckily, another teammate had relatives at the game, one of whom was an ER doctor. The doc came out to centerfield, looked at me, felt my arm and said, “You broke it. Lie down and stay right there.” Twenty minutes later I was in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
Fast forward 30 years, and somewhat similarly, my own actions were again the reason for my broken bone. I was jogging, went to make a left turn on the path, planted my right foot, pushed off and “pop.” I took a few more steps before it was clear I was not continuing. Fortunately, this time I didn’t need an ambulance, just a very slow, heel-based walk home.
However, the next morning I did make a trip to the emergency room when it was clear whatever had happened was not getting better. At Mount Nittany Medical Center they confirmed I had broken my foot and it was a Jones fracture.
Here’s the thing with this type of fracture though: It happens near the end of the bone and usually disrupts blood flow, in an area of the foot that doesn’t get great blood flow to begin with. And because the bone gets less blood, the time it takes to heal goes up. Way up.
What that means in simple terms is that I am not supposed to put any weight on my right foot for six weeks. And then only little-by-little over the following six weeks. Well, you can do the math, but that’s three months of very limited mobility. As I said at the beginning, this is the exact reason someone would need to use crutches.
And so, I was given a pair of crutches to help me get around.
Now, I’ve seen people getting around with crutches my entire life. On streets, in buildings, at events, on sports fields, on TV, in movies, in my own house – both my wife and son for months at a time – and thousands of other places. It’s a common sight. For me, other than an inquisitive interest in what ailment resulted in the need for the crutches, I’ve never thought much else about them.
Well, that has now changed!
Having to keep one foot completely of the ground and non-weight-bearing at all times as I move around with a set of crutches is more like torture than any sort of realistic medical solution. Maybe some people can always keep one foot off the ground using crutches, but not me. I’ve bruised my armpits, hyperextended my left thumb, almost tripped over every wayward item on the floor in our house and came darn close to tumbling down several stairs.
So, when I see an ancient Egyptian stone carving depicting someone with a crutch, I can certainly understand how that “International Orthopaedics” article would suggest that crutches are likely the most neglected medical tool of all time in terms of progress from antiquity until today.
However, another ancient invention has saved the day for me: the wheel!
Soon after starting to use the crutches I realized I could not keep using them for six weeks. Or even six days. Heck, six hours felt like an eternity. So I went looking for an alternative.
And I discovered knee scooters!
Knee scooters are wheeled scooters with a padded platform for the knee and a handlebar to steer. This allows you to rest your knee on the pad and not put any weight on your foot, while pushing yourself forward with your other leg.
What an idea! I got one and now I can move around the house with relative ease without putting any weight at all on my foot. In addition, I got an “ATV-style” version with larger inflated tires I can use outdoors to walk around the neighborhood and park.
Suddenly that six-week prognosis that felt like an eternity for me has become an inconvenient but manageable opportunity to enjoy taking a little more time to do things and letting go of control a bit. I still can’t drive, but at least I can go outside for fresh air without Herculean efforts.
The added bonus for knee scooters over crutches is they are “with the times” since everyone seems to have scooters of some sort these days – kids and adults. Granted, those scooters are almost all battery-powered and you stand on them, but I don’t look that far out of place cruising around the grocery store on my knee scooter.
The only small drawback to them is that knee scooters are not covered by medical insurance. So, this is my call to U.S. Rep. Glenn Thompson… Here is a medical insurance issue right up your alley. Do what you can to require medical insurance to cover these knee scooters. In just one short week it’s clear to me that they are more functional, easier and safer than crutches (which haven’t changed since antiquity in case you’ve noticed), and actually allow you to follow the medical advice to keep weight off your feet.
I’m so enamored with these scooters I may go looking for a battery-powered stand-up version once I heal so I can ride around like all the cool kids.
Three cheers for knee scooters!
