As we move into the holiday season, I reflect on how I approached holiday meals and treats years ago. The excitement wasn’t just about gathering with loved ones; for me, it was a carefully orchestrated “plan” for the biggest feast of the year. Leading up to the holidays, I’d restrict, exercise and put certain foods on hold, telling myself I was “saving up” for the main event.
The day itself was like a celebration of indulgence. I’d finally allowed myself to enjoy all the dishes—mashed potatoes, rolls, sweet potatoes, cranberry relish, stuffing, cookies, pie—and felt the need to pile my plate high to “get it all in.” And yet, the freedom I thought I was giving myself was, in reality, anything but. By the end of the day, I often felt uncomfortably full and already thinking of how to “make up” for it in the days after.
Fast-forward to today and my approach to the holidays has completely changed. I’ve cultivated a healthy relationship with food and no longer tie my worth and value to what I eat or the size of my body. I allow myself to enjoy all foods, free of guilt, throughout the year, focusing on what truly nourishes both my body and mind. As a result, this balance has left me feeling healthier, happier and more at peace with food than ever before.
With this shift, the holidays have become less about a high-stakes meal and more about the celebration they’re meant to be. I listen to my body’s cues, honoring my hunger and fullness while letting go of the pressure to overeat because I know I can enjoy these foods anytime. Now, instead of focusing on the plate in front of me, I get to be fully present—sharing laughs, catching up with family and soaking up those meaningful moments that make the season special.
Of course, gatherings can also come with a side of “diet talk” from well-intended relatives—those comments we’ve all heard (or said ourselves!) about calories, weight or how someone “shouldn’t” have that second helping. Here are a few ways I gently steer conversations back to what really matters:
- When Aunt Suzy Says She “Shouldn’t” Have Another Serving, you can respond lightly with, “Come on, Aunt Suzy, Thanksgiving is all about enjoying food with family.” Then, pivot to something like, “What’s your favorite Thanksgiving memory, by the way?” to bring back the good vibes.
- When Cousin Sarah Starts Tallying Up Calories and saying, “Wow, I’ll have to work off this meal tomorrow,” you can deflect with, “Honestly, the only workout I’m thinking about is a nice walk to the couch for a post-dinner nap! So, anyone watching football later?” This keeps it light and redirects the conversation to a holiday tradition.
- If Uncle Joe Mentions Weight Changes like “I need to lose some weight—I’ll be dieting after this,” try responding, “It’s Thanksgiving—let’s just enjoy it. Tell me, have you started planning for the holidays?” Redirecting to an upcoming event or shared interest takes the pressure off body talk and puts the focus back on the season.
- When Grandma Talks About Food “Rules” like skipping dessert or avoiding seconds, gently reply with, “I think today’s rule is to enjoy what’s in front of us! We don’t get your amazing stuffing every day.” A warm compliment helps Grandma feel appreciated and shifts the focus back to the joy of sharing the meal.
- If There’s Praise (or Pressure) About Appearance like “Have you gained weight?” and you’d rather avoid that focus, try “I’m just grateful to be here with everyone. Who’s excited for pie?” Or, if you notice someone else is getting those comments, you could chime in with, “I think we’re all looking pretty fabulous today, right?”
The mindset shift I’ve embraced during the holidays doesn’t just apply to November and December—it’s a gift that lasts all year long. When you stop treating food as something you have to “earn” or “deserve,” it opens the door to a more peaceful, balanced relationship with eating in every season.
Think about those summer BBQs, spring celebrations or even everyday dinners. When food isn’t put on a pedestal or tied to rules, it becomes just another part of life—a nourishing, enjoyable experience. The same freedom you can cultivate during the holidays can transform how you approach birthdays, vacations or even an impromptu pizza night with your kids.
So, as we wrap up this year and look ahead to the next, consider what it would feel like to stop “starting over” every January. To step into the new year without the weight of food guilt, resolutions that feel like punishment or a need to “fix” your eating habits.
Wishing you and your family a season of joy, good food and guilt-free gatherings!
Happy Holidays!
For more tips on creating a healthy, sustainable relationship with food that lasts all year, follow @food.freedom.momma on Instagram or visit foodfreedommomma.com.
Food Freedom Momma founder Claire Harpster is a Registered Dietitian and Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor based in State College with a passion for promoting healthy and balanced living.
