When was the last time you reached out to your parents, siblings, children, relatives or a good friend to plan and execute a special trip or event? This is your reminder to get it done!
I’ve had the past two weeks circled on my calendar for a long time: a trip back to State College, my adopted home of 40 years, followed by a quick trip to Pittsburgh, my original hometown of 22 years, and the starting point for a very special adventure with my parents.
My schedule worked out perfectly to return to Happy Valley to speak and then continue to Penn Hills to drive my parents back to South Carolina to vacation at our new home. That may not seem like that big of a deal until you learn that my father is 91 and my mother 85. No better time than right now to get it done.
I have been praying hard for my parents to be healthy enough to make this trip. While they are both in relatively good health, flying is not an option for my father. So, the thought of driving 12 hours, even with an overnight stop to break up the trip, was a bit daunting. But when you realize that this opportunity may not present itself too many more times, you will yourself to make it happen.
Time is not promised to anyone. Make it count. The quality time that you get to spend with loved ones and good friends to create magical moments is precious. Too often we wait too long to actualize our best intentions and miss our chance. The intentional time you choose to spend together with people who truly matter in your life creates the kind of moments that turn into life-long memories.
The trip to State College from Bluffton allowed me to spend 12 hours in a car with my 22-year-old son, which helped make the time go by more smoothly as we headed north. I’m a classic rock guy and he’s more into country, while we both enjoy contemporary Christian music. He was willing to join me because he wanted to visit his former roommates and friends who are finishing up their final semester at Penn State.
I was returning to Happy Valley to speak to the Tau Beta Pi Engineering Honors Society and to be the keynote speaker for AE Works architecture and engineering firm’s Annual Growth Meeting at Toftrees. AE Works employs a significant number of PSU alumni and their CEO Mike Cherock is both an alum as well as a fellow native of Penn Hills.
It was a short 36-hour stopover in Happy Valley, and I was only able to sneak in quick side visits with a few friends. The next morning, we departed for Penn Hills to pick up my parents to begin our ambitious adventure to South Carolina. The trip through West Virginia, Virginia and North Carolina allowed us to reminisce about past experiences and catch them up on their grandson’s adventures and plans. We stopped overnight in Charlotte to spend time with my nephew Nicholas, which was a bonus for my parents to see their grandson.
My father has not had an easy life and he’s certainly made his share of mistakes. His body has held out better than expected but is deteriorating, and his memory is still pretty good but declining. My mother, who should be sainted, has been his caregiver almost 24/7, so giving them this opportunity to enjoy the Lowcountry was just what they needed.
The first couple of days were spent touring our community, eating out at local restaurants, visiting Savannah, Georgia, and doing what would turn out to be a highlight for my parents: they got to see their son play senior softball. Don’t laugh. We have an amazing complex here, get great crowds and the travel teams have won multiple national championships! The people here take their Sun City Senior Softball seriously, which was right up my father’s alley.
Let me explain. My father played minor league professional baseball and competitive slow pitch softball until he transitioned into a lifelong baseball and softball coach. He still helps coach a senior softball team to this day. He reminds me that he has one more World Series of Slow Pitch Senior Softball Championships (7) as a manager than I have ACHA Hockey National Championships as a coach.
My team was down 7-0 after the first two innings when my father walked over to the dugout and called for me. I knew this was bound to happen, so I was expecting it. “Tell your rover he’s gotta play right behind second base,” the old coach declared. “And you gotta hit the long ball to get something going.” You must understand that in 10 years of being coached by my father in youth baseball and adult softball he never once told me to “hit the long ball.” Well, I gotta give him credit, because our manager was thinking the same thing. Our opponent didn’t score another run and this career singles hitter bombed a couple resulting in four RBI off two triples as we stormed back for a 9-7 victory.
It was a hoot having my parents (and wife and son) there and my father was smiling from ear to ear. It brought back a rush of great memories. The next day I returned to spend time watching random softball games with my 91-year-old father. It was a “Field of Dreams” moment.
To give my mom a little break, she and my wife were off to Old Town Bluffton and Hilton Head Island to shop, eat some leisurely lunches, have a few drinks and to see family friend Jessie Pegula, the world’s No. 3-ranked women’s tennis player, at the Charleston Open.
Meanwhile, I took my U.S. Army veteran father to check out some of the impressive historical sites in the Lowcountry. Between the Revolutionary War, Civil War and World War II, this area is a history buff’s dream. Yours truly is even a member of the Civil War Roundtable club.
On our first history day, we went to the Marine Corps Museum on Parris Island. He absolutely loved it. It’s set up to show the history of the Marine Corp and the local history that goes along with it. We could have spent a full day there. As we were leaving the base, we got lucky and were able to watch four units of trainees march onto the parade ground for drills. As we approached the Iwo Jima statue, an exact replica of the one in Arlington, Virginia, one of the units stopped. Their drill instructor asked if my dad was a veteran. They saluted him and the drill instructor shook his hand and thanked him for his service.
The next day we drove 25 minutes to The National Museum of the Mighty Eighth Air Force in Pooler, Georgia. I knew we were going to get to see some amazing aircraft, but we were delightfully surprised at all the hidden history that neither my father nor I (who are both big World War II history buffs) knew regarding Savannah’s role in the war.
The effort that it took to pull together the Mighty Eighth Air Force was so impressive: the logistics, the parts, the mechanics, the pilots, the training staff and even the advances in weather technology. We learned that the unsung heroes were the plane mechanics. When we were finished with our tour, I looked at my dad and said, “I hope I never take for granted the freedom that we have because of these veterans and the sacrifices they made.”
Finally, my father and I visited Patriots Point in Mt. Pleasant east of Charleston. It’s the home of The Patriots Point Naval & Maritime Museum in Charleston Harbor, South Carolina, where World War II era ships the USS Yorktown aircraft carrier and the USS Laffey destroyer are moored.
While we were in the very sizable museum gift shop, a young boy from Kentucky walked over to my father and said, “Thank you for your service. I’m going to be in the Air Force someday.” It made my dad blush with pride, especially after several adults also went out of their way to recognize his service.
Many of you play video games that sort of simulate what you might go through in wartime. But when your game is over you get to hit reset. I thought to myself, how many of today’s youngsters would fight for our freedoms? Would you answer the call? Would you have the courage to fight the good fight? With Saudi Arabia’s recent meetings with Iran, brokered by China, and the Chinese holding their largest ever war games just beyond Taiwan’s waters, these are complicated times, and the time may come when the next generation of service men and women may have to ante up.
After a great week in South Carolina, we made it back for our annual Easter dinner with family in Pittsburgh. When my cousins asked what their best memory of their trip was, both my parents mentioned our amenities and visiting Savannah, Harbourtown and Charleston. Then something interesting happened. Independently they said, “But I really enjoyed watching Joe play softball!”
Huh? Well, if you think about it, doesn’t it make sense? It transported them back to the time when youth baseball and competitive slow pitch softball was a way of life for my parents. Some of our best memories as a family come from the games, the travel to and from tournaments and the celebrations from the many victories and championships — and there were many over the years.
As we departed my childhood home, my father got very emotional, hugged me, kissed me on the cheek and thanked me profusely for making the trip happen. Then as I said thank you and so long to my mother, she hugged me a little harder than usual and said how much she needed and enjoyed the trip. Perhaps they sense there’s fewer opportunities for these times together.
Getting to spend this time with my parents has been priceless. Seeing the joy in my father’s eyes, especially at the softball complex and at the military museums, is something I will remember forever.
I know the past week meant a lot to my parents. It also meant a lot to me and our family. I hope that our adventure will inspire you to plan your own adventure with people who matter in your life. There’s no time like this time.
Whatever you decide to do or wherever you choose to go, just be sure to make your time count!
