Happy Holidays! Happy Hanukkah! Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! We often hear these phrases from family, friends, colleagues and even complete strangers at this time of the year. Most of the time it is said sincerely and with a hearty smile. But they can also be uttered as a reflex without real feeling or meaning.
It’s with the latter in mind that I encourage you to be intentional, deliberate and authentic in your communications during these final few weeks of a year in what I believe may be the most polarized times of my 62 years on the planet. Let’s remind each other that the real reason for this holiday season is to strive for peace on earth and goodwill toward all.
Commercialism has so diluted the true meaning of the holidays for me, and I would assume many of you feel the same as well. The fact that the commercials and holiday specials start earlier every year makes it even worse. It saddens me that we have become so obsessed with the material aspects of the holidays that we seem to be missing what really matters.
As I get older I long more and more for the days when my large extended family all lived relatively close to each other in western Pennsylvania and the holidays were an event. It always included not only my big Catholic Italian family, but many of our friends and our parents’ friends. It also included our faith and charity, which was prevalent everywhere. People helping other people, especially those in need.
It doesn’t matter what your faith is or even if you are not spiritual. This is a time for all of us to put aside our differences and to show compassion and love to our fellow human beings. It’s a time for forgiveness, whether it’s to heal a long lingering family issue or a spat with an old friend. It’s a time for memories and gratitude, and for those of us who are believers, a time to renew our commitment to our faith and to remember that, above all the details, we all essentially want the same thing. Peace on earth and goodwill toward all.
In previous columns I have referenced the Halftime Institute and the foundational book, “Halftime,” by Bob Buford. In it he writes about “moving from success to significance.” He describes our post-career lives as “a time of revitalization and for catching a new vision for living the second half, the half where life can be lived at its most rewarding.” Well, I’ve reached that stage of my life and now it’s time to make good on a promise I made to myself (and my wife), and that is to devote more of my time and energy to serving God.
Sure, I can make a strong case that I have already spent the bulk of my life as a servant leader and have helped many people and many causes over the years. I used to joke about how I spent 25 years as a hockey coach helping to raise other people’s children. I volunteered in Sunday school classes, for several church committees and went on a Mountain T.O.P. mission trip to Tennessee in 2010 that was life changing. None of it has been enough and it’s my time to pay “the man” and fulfill my “fishhook” vow to be a better Christian.
So, with our recent move to South Carolina, an important step was to find a new church and a new church family, and that became a priority for me. It’s especially important given the rather sobering statistics I found online about the exodus of churchgoing families.
A Google search of “Why are so many people are leaving organized religion?” is eye-opening. There are so many opinions it made my head spin, and I will leave the religious details to the theologians and religious scholars. I just believe my own eyes when I see many Catholic, Presbyterian, Methodist and Lutheran churches half filled, closing their doors or merging with other churches. Even those who still have robust attendance tend to be skewed to an older demographic.
I found an article titled “The Religious Nones: Why People Are Leaving Organized Religion” quite informative. My conclusion is that some serious soul-searching needs to be done at these churches and among their leaders because the “We’ve always done it this way” strategy isn’t getting it done. I want to be a part of that solution.
I was raised Catholic and genuinely enjoyed going to church as a child. St. Susanna’s parish in my hometown of Penn Hills was overflowing for most Sunday services. I loved the traditional hymns, seeing my friends and family at mass and learning about God and Jesus. But as I got older something was missing for me, and it took going away to college to realize what. We were simply not encouraged to read the Bible and I never really felt connected to God in a personal way. Certainly not the way I saw it work for my mother. She was, and still is, devoted and while a great role model and advocate, the Catholic Church simply didn’t fill my spiritual needs the way it does for her and many others. I needed to find a different path.
As a grad student in 1986, I took a marketing class for nonprofits. I was surprised to see local priests and nuns in the class. Clearly, they were ahead of their time as they could see into the future and sensed what was coming. It struck me as a bit strange back then to see their approach but now it makes perfect sense. With so many distractions competing for our time and attention it’s understandable why many have turned away from organized religion with all the infighting, politics, scandals and, in my humble opinion, that so many have lost sight of one of their primary missions: Promoting peace on earth and goodwill toward all.
So, my wife and I set off to find a new place to worship. We ran into some Penn Staters who recommended we give the Low Country Community Church a try. It’s a non-denominational Bible-based church and, in full disclosure, it was a lot bigger than what we’ve been accustomed to since we were married 33 years ago. Their website is impressive but also a tad overwhelming, especially when I read that “4,000 people call LCC their spiritual home each week. LCC was named by Outreach Magazine in 2013, 2014, and 2022 as one of the 100 Fastest Growing Churches in America.”
Well, after a month of attending, I come out of every service filled with joy. I feel overwhelmingly alive and energized and I actually find myself wanting to linger! The live music, the video testimonies, the occasional guest speakers, the powerful sermons, and the smiles on the faces of all the people, young and old. The lead pastor, Jeff Cranston, is so engaging, and his sermons are so relevant. They have genuinely touched my heart.
The church is very modern and utilizes technology to create a fun atmosphere to attract young parents and engage their children, to attract volunteers and to keep the very diverse membership active and excited to be there. The members took home over two thousand pine cone shaped bags filled with hot chocolate mix and marshmallows with invitations attached to attend one of the Christmas services.
The entire atmosphere they have created is marketing genius. That may turn some people off, and I get that. This church may not be for everyone. However, the proof is in the pudding. The church service is packed. The parking lot is overflowing to the point it’s five or six rows back on the grass. The church had its own float in the town of Bluffton parade and is so successful that it serves various missions locally, around the state, the country and the world.
This church has incredible diversity across race, age and gender. It’s vibrant. It’s energized. Its message is true to the Gospel. If it’s combating the evil that exists and competes for people’s attention, how is this a bad thing? People get caught up in details and miss the message.
Yes, it’s not “traditional” in many respects. I have been to enough traditional services over the years and here’s what I see: Empty pews; people leaving the church in great numbers; parishes closing. I also see crime on the rise, divorce on the rise, mental health issues on the rise and I can’t believe these issues are mutually exclusive. I guess I am challenging people to think differently.
While I am “all in” on my own Christian spiritual journey, it doesn’t matter to me if you consider yourself a Muslim, Jew, Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, atheist, or a “nones.” What matters is that we all realize the true meaning of these holiday seasons and that is to respect each other and to care for fellow humans. This holiday season I will pray for all of you in my way, and ask that you pray for me in yours, that we will all do our part for peace on earth and goodwill toward all.
