Sociologist Morris Massey called them significant emotional events. Those events in our lives that change our perspective, alter or impact the value system that we developed in childhood, and change the way we think of the world.
A significant emotional event is something that happens to us — often for the first time — that brings with it emotions, physiological reactions, and change.
A significant emotional event can be something tragic like a car accident or it can be something more mundane like reading a book or hearing a speaker.
It can also be result from simply saying yes to an opportunity.
I have previously written on these pages about my new appreciation for yoga. As a 50+ year old, I can’t bend myself in half but I have found that I have benefited from the stretching and the inner focus that an hour of yoga practice can bring. In November of last year, the yoga studio where I practice, PYP Studio at Creekside Plaza in State College, advertised a 40 Day Yoga Challenge to start the New Year. It promised weekly sessions, lessons and readings, meditation, and community. The goal was a focus on health and inner strength to start 2016.
It piqued my interest but with the holidays, end of the semester, and traveling (and probably some emotional hesitancy), I didn’t sign up in time. I e-mailed Janet, the co-owner of the studio. A day or so later, she e-mailed me back to say there was a cancellation. I was in.
I walked into the first class that Tuesday night in early January and almost walked back out the door. I asked my friend Robin, “Is it going to stay this hot in here?” She smiled and said “I think so.”
This promised to be a long 40 days.
I am proud to say that I made it through that hot, sweaty night and all those that came afterward.
Kerry Bestwick, co-owner and 40 Day Challenge instructor, led us through the program. We were offered “challenge by choice” on eating and drinking habits for those 40 days and for attending and participating at the level we felt comfortable. There was no pressure if life, work, or other schedules took one of us away from our meetings and practice schedule. It seemed like the Thursday 6:00 a.m. class fell on the coldest, darkest days of the year.
The light of yoga practice with an amazing community could not, however, have been brighter on those mornings.
After some initial resistance from this well-defended, concrete, middle-aged working mom, I decided to jump in feet first I decided I would try the no alcohol, no caffeine, no soda challenge. I am a pretty healthy eater already, but vowed to stay on course. Forty days is not, after all, that long.
Things began to happen for me.
I found myself looking forward to the Saturday meetings, which were largely talk and share sessions. Kerry led us through activities related to the seven spiritual centers (chakras) and helped us apply those lessons to our daily lives. We had take-home assignments to help us reinforce the message. We learned from authors Brene Brown and Tara Brach. We talked about things like imperfection and letting go. Throughout the 40 days, we practiced yoga.
I found myself changing. I started sleeping better. I ate better. My reaction to stress and frustration and the daily bumps in the road became less reactive and more thoughtful. Through mindfulness and compassion, I have found that my interactions with others are changing too. Letting the stress pass through and not become part of me has resulted in me feeling a whole lot better — physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
I’m sure at some point in my life I would have dismissed or even made fun of a program like this. Yoga? Chakras? Me? Yeah, right.
Significant emotional event, indeed.
We had guest speakers on nutrition, Yin yoga, and inversions (yes, standing on one’s head). We learned the benefits of meditation, ironically on the same week that research from Harvard was published linking meditation to actual physical changes in brain anatomy. We learned to give ourselves permission to just be.
I believe that there are forces in this world that we just can’t understand. Coincidences and connections that surprise us all the time. That e-mail from Janet saying “you are in” may have turned out to be one of those forces at work.
The dynamics of the group were very special. The group of 30+ women was very open and caring, although somewhat reticent at first. Over the course of the 40 days, those all too frequent social barriers began to make way for friendship and laughter and support for each other.
We finished the program on Saturday with a simple gift sharing, a yoga practice led by Kerry to the live music of local musician Eric Farmer, and some “yoga-mosas” in celebration.
I am already missing the structure and positive impact in my life.
I lost eight pounds, saved a surprising amount of money by not drinking beer or soda, and can almost now bend myself in half. I’m also on the calendar for more classes this week — some of which will be in that same heated studio — to keep my zen going. At the group’s request, Kerry has promised to meet with us monthly to reconnect and to continue on our collective journey.
Significant emotional event in the form of 40 days of yoga? Yes, indeed.
