Last night, I stayed home with the children and set my wife free to do some additional Christmas shopping. Any time either of us can go to a store without lugging the double stroller out of the back of the van is a special occasion that makes us giddy with excitement. And with about 70 people on our Christmas list and 21 birthdays that by some accident of fate happen right before or after Christmas, we have quite a bit of shopping to do.
Unfortunately, last night my wife encountered something that wasn<92>t so jolly. She came home from a certain big box retail outlet (the one without an auto center but with nicer displays) somewhat crestfallen. She saw a grandmother out with her grandson. A young boy no older than two, who was whining for every toy that he passed in the aisle. She told him she would slap him if he didn<92>t stop and ultimately she lived up to her promise.
Not a classic Christmas moment. But as we<92>ve all heard, the holidays can be the most stressful time of the year no matter what the songs tell you. And Americans are pretty uptight to begin with.
Interestingly, it seems to have nothing to do with money or lack of it. American Express/Roper ASW Affluent Study showed that 55% of wealthy American consumers are regularly stressed <96> more than big spenders in Australia, Brazil, Canada, France, Germany, Hong Kong, Italy, Japan, Mexico, and the UK. That<92>s why we spent $11B year on the de-stress industry (a concept that scarcely existed ten years ago.)
So what do we do with all this holiday stress? Here are some useful tips from the Mayo Clinic web site for preemptive handling of holiday stress and my attempt to apply them to the life of an every day holiday shopper (mostly me).
<95> Acknowledge your feelings. Always a good idea. Like if someone angles their shopping cart to subtly cut in front of you at check out, you can acknowledge your feelings to that person and yourself by sighing audibly and shaking your head.
<95> Seek support. I find that I can often get other shoppers on my side in a crowded store by exclaiming out loud how ridiculously crowded it is, how slow the line is moving, and how the store needs to open more registers. This works the <93>us against them<94> aspect of mob psychology.
<95> Be realistic. Realistically, I realize that I will spend too much and will be filled with remorse sometime around the second week of January. I accept that and enjoy my holidays.
<95> Stick to a budget. A lot of advice sites suggest this one, but they don<92>t specify whose budget. I like to stick to the budget of a wealthy entrepreneur that travels the world (or at least local retail) dispensing gifts to his friends and family.
<95> Don<92>t abandon healthy habits. This is an easy one for me. I have very few healthy habits, so when I don<92>t call or write during the holidays, they are neither surprised nor disappointed.
<95> Take a breather. If this means eating pretzels and watching The Office while my wife wraps the gifts at the end of the day, I<92>m all over it.
<95> Rethink resolutions. I don<92>t want to brag, but I rethought resolutions years ago. Oscar Wilde says the only way to fight temptation is to give into it. This goes doubly for M&Ms.
<95> Forget about perfection. Done!
<95> Seek professional help if you need it. I agree. Next year I will enlist a professional to shop for me.
But seriously, if I can dispense any sort of holiday advice <96> don<92>t smack your kids. I have three small children. I understand how hard it can be. Our oldest is a four-year-old that has the tenacity in resistance of Gandhi, the chutzpa of Johnnie Cochran, and, when necessary, the scream of a gargoyle. But some day when I<92>m old and obsolete, he will not only control whether I end up in a nursing home or not, but he will also be the heart of my legacy <96> what the world remembers after I<92>ve stopped having my say and what lives on of the good and bad of me.
St. Francis De Sales said, <93>Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength.<94> As we go about the hurly-burly feeding frenzy of holiday shopping, maybe we could remember that and maybe that would bring us a little closer to what all this is supposed to be about.
What do you think? If you have any tactics you have for dealing with stress around the holidays, please post them. I love to get comments.
