“Whether I’m right or whether I’m wrong
This opening verse from Sammy Davis, Jr.’s 1968 hit song “I’ve Gotta Be Me,” written by Walter Marks, is a great reminder that while we want role models in our lives, it’s ultimately your life and you have to “play you” in the great theater of life. I believe this could be the theme song for what it takes to become a “Pragmatic Passioneer.” Dream big. Keep it real. Get it done!
This is the third column in what I have dubbed the accountability series. My last column “Just 10 Little Words,” was all about self-confidence.
In February 2017, I wrote a column about State College native Brian Price, who “took the road less traveled by” and took charge of his life. His non-traditional and non-linear education and career paths emphasized the importance of being the victor and not the victim.
This week I want to talk about the importance of making sure you live YOUR life and not vicariously through others, or a life prescribed by a parent or other authority figure who won’t take the time to really get to know you and what makes you unique. You only want to listen to those who are genuinely willing to help you figure out what your strengths are and to develop the best options for YOU. Learn from others? Yes. Study the best? Most definitely. But in the end, be an original. Be you! Bring your unique talents, skills and intangibles to the world and go after your own dreams, whether they be a career goal or a lifestyle goal. Just keep it real.
The first step in any process of self-improvement is a thorough self-assessment, a where-are-you-now snapshot. “Look in the mirror” is an often overused way to describe what you need to do in any attempt to do a self-awareness inventory and confront all that you are both good and bad, real and aspirational, and how that aligns with your definition of success for you. But “look in the mirror” is also sage advice — advice that I hope includes your desire to live a joyful, meaningful and fulfilling life in service of others so you truly live and not just survive day to day.
“I want to live, not merely survive
Jeffrey Hayzlett, bestselling author of “The Mirror Test: Is Your Business Really Breathing?,” says emphatically: ‘The Mirror doesn’t lie, so don’t try to fool it.’ As a coach we used to say the “eye in the sky doesn’t lie,” when we watched video. In lieu of having your life videotaped, you have to simply imagine that you are in a live-action movie and it’s time to do your own critique of you.
For my book, I interviewed Hayzlett, who is also the CEO of the C-Suite Network. I asked him about how he balances his daily schedule — in essence how does he balance work and life? He cut right to the chase.
“There’s no such thing as work-life balance. To be successful in anything in life it ultimately takes hard work. It’s called hard work for a reason. It’s hard. It takes time and sacrifices. It’s what pays the bills. When my kids would say they wished I could be home more often, I would simply say, okay, what do you want to cut out that you like to do? They understood that it was my dedication that allowed us to have our quality of life. You just realistically can’t have it all. We all have a finite amount of time, energy and ability and must choose what we want from it.”
I think what Jeffrey is saying is that it’s really a “life-work integration” and not balance that should be the pragmatic goal. It takes a very strong, mature person to look in the mirror and see their possibilities, and to recognize their limitations.
U = Understand
R = Reflect
E = Evolve
V = Validate
U = Unleash
What is the U-REVU? It a review of you. We give end-of-the-year reviews and we get them from others whether it’s a boss, a teacher, a coach or a parent. Why don’t we take time to look at that person staring back at us in the mirror and have a periodic U-REVU? Of course, I am going to throw an acronym at you so it’s easier to remember what to do in your annual, semi-annual, or, my personal recommendation, quarterly U-REVU.
The first U is to understand where you are right now, by taking that snapshot self-assessment. The R is to reflect on your current status. The E is to evolve to your next level by developing your next steps. The V stands for validate. Are your actions lining up with your values, what really matters to you? The second U is to unleash your unique plan for growing as an individual to achieve your personal and professional goals.
These are your dreams. It’s your life. Take charge of it!
“The dream that I see makes me what I am
Are you up to the challenge? Are you willing to intentionally look in the mirror and commit to be the best version of you? Are you willing to set time aside soon to do the three-hour U-REVU? Before you go and spend a small fortune on psychotherapy, take the time to get to know yourself with a brutally honest self-assessment.
If you are willing to hold the person staring back at you from the mirror accountable, then you are ready to make your dreams become possible. It starts with knowing yourself through your U-REVU and by being yourself.
Take charge of your life.
If it is to be, it is up to me.
I’ve gotta be me.
Make it happen!
“I’ll go it alone, that’s how it must be
Whether I find a place in this world or never belong
I gotta be me, I’ve gotta be me
What else can I be but what I am”
And I won’t give up this dream
Of life that keeps me alive
I gotta be me, I gotta be me”
The U-REVU.
That far away prize, a world of success
Is waiting for me if I heed the call
I won’t settle down, won’t settle for less
As long as there’s a chance that I can have it all”
I can’t be right for somebody else
If I’m not right for me
I gotta be free, I just gotta be free
Daring to try, to do it or die
I gotta be me”
