There was a significantly long pause after Penn State defensive tackle Anthony Zettel sat down in front of the media on Tuesday.
Not because there was nothing to ask, but because there is no good way to start the conversation. No good way to start talking about death, least of all with someone who is essentially a friendly acquaintance.
When the condolences and first question were finally out of the way, Zettel began to open up about his father and his battle with cancer. Perhaps more importantly, the memories. ‘
“Me and my family went through a hard time but I think when you got a group of guys in the locker room like I have and a group of guys at home, family friends that surround me with support, I think that really takes the edge off everything and makes me be able to fight through it and deal with it better.” Zettel said.
Penn State’s all-american level defensive tackle never missed a game as his father battled cancer. They saw each other one last time with his father making the trip to see Anthony and the Nittany Lions take on Temple. After that it was phone calls and football. It’s what his father wanted. When Zettel took the field to face San Diego State just a day after his father’s passing he had one of the best games of his career.
Something hard to overlook.
“It was emotional, it was an emotional, little spurt for me there, but at the same time my dad was — that’s what he would want. When I would come home and he was going through chemo sessions, he would be yelling at me, like, get back to college and go do your thing because sitting here with me, you’re not doing anything you want to do and bettering yourself.” Zettel said with a smile.
“I think everybody was on point, I was more focused than I’ve ever been. I felt like he was with me there every step of the way so it just felt different, and I know every game I play from now on out or whatever I do in life he’s going to be with me.”
With a large support system in place and so much on his plate already it’s easy to see how Zettel can so comfortably speak about something so difficult in his life.
But even he struggles. A brief admission that the late nights all alone are hardest. There is no football at one in the morning, only you and your thoughts. Anyone would buckle and yet he continues to fight forward and play at the highest level. It’s hard not to admire, and it’s even harder not to root for.
“I think I’ve had so many people that have impacted me here at Penn State, whether it’s professors, coaches, teammates and anybody in the community. I have had a lot of good people, really good people that just really care about me as a person, not just because I’m a football player, but I try to put myself out there and have conversations with people, just getting to know people.” Zettel said.
While the sadness lingers on, and may never fully go away, Zettel hangs on to the good moments the most. Seeing his sister and father walk down the aisle or having his dad shoot a 52 on the golf course and see Anthony hit his second ever hole in one. Those are the memories that really matter, and the ones he’ll cherish the most.
For now though it’s back to football.
And in the end, that’s all his dad would have wanted anyway.
