As Dorothy found out in “The Wizard of Oz,” there is no place like home.
I just got back from California, where I spent two weeks on a business trip. In the days before I left, I looked forward to the excitement of the trip, the chance to see a new part of the country and the professional opportunity to work with Marine Corps Community Services.
After two weeks away, I was ready to come home. Being away from home stinks.
Having someone else make my bed and put fresh towels in the bathroom was definitely a plus. In the two weeks that I was away, I didn’t have to vacuum, clean a bathroom, clean the dog’s bathroom in the yard or take the garbage out. I pretty much got up, ate a breakfast that someone else prepared, worked all day, had dinner served to me in a restaurant and then returned to the hotel to do some e-mailing and watch television programs that, prior to doing the traveling salesman routine, I didn’t know were available. Watching episodes of the totally schmaltzy “NCIS” while staying in Temporary Lodging Facilities at Camp Pendleton was a little bit more than ironic.
After the first couple of days and a weekend on my own, I started to feel a little antsy.
The miracle of the cell phone for the traveling wife and mother cannot be overstated. Even with the time difference, the ability to pick up the phone and call, text or Blackberry message any of my family members is quite remarkable. It hasn’t been that long since long-distance land lines were the only way to stay in touch with family and friends across the county. The ability to send an instantaneous communication to someone on the other side of the United States is really remarkable.
I used the cell phone and Facebook to keep up to date with my kids. Sometimes after work, I would log on and happily find my kids on Facebook chat. The girls would update me on their social lives, etc. Teenage boys are about as communicative on the computer as they are in person. How was your day at school? OK. How was lacrosse practice? OK. Text lingo doesn’t quite convey the emotions that I was looking for.
With daily calls, I tried to stay on top of college girl work schedules, summer vacation plans, summer camp registrations, who is recovering from the flu and who might still need to see a doctor, the status of groceries, scheduling the car for inspection and the dogs.
The dogs. Of the four people and two canines I left behind, the four-legged family members seem to have had the most difficulty in my absence. With schedules and routines off normal, the reports were that “the dogs are acting weird.” The pups collectively decided that sleeping on college girl beds was preferable to Dad booting them off the bed and onto the floor. The irregular schedules are probably to blame for our younger dog breaking out of her crate when everyone was at school or work and then chewing up some shoes, a picture frame and a hairbrush. I made Dad promise no trips to the farm until I get back to assess the damage.
The time change makes for interesting hurdles to communication. A friend called me at 5:30 a.m. Pacific Time because she forgot I was still away. I started to return some calls from students from last semester who had concerns about their final grades, but I couldn’t quite get it right. I would start thinking about it after work and then would remember that it was 10 p.m. on the East Coast.
Back home, my husband took care of business and the business of running a home. Most of the time, we share the tasks of driving kids to sports and work, meal prep, household chores and overseeing social activities. When one of us is out, it puts things just a bit off kilter. Laundry gets done, dinner is prepared, dog hair gets vacuumed, but not in the same way or on the same schedule.
My colleague and I took in some sites, shopping and great food on the second weekend we were away from home. I sent my kids pictures of the baby elephants at the San Diego Zoo’s Safari Park and texted my girls from the outlet mall to confirm clothing sizes. I received hourly updates on the lacrosse tournament in Hershey, where we placed third.
The song is wrong; it does rain in California. Everything I did had just a little less shine without sharing it with my family.
I was gone for two weeks and couldn’t wait to get home. It will take me a few days to get back in the groove, readjust to the time difference and get used to being part of a household again. My family will need to re-acclimate to having Mom back home.
Sometimes life is about perspective.
There are banners hanging on the fence outside every Marine base I have visited in doing this work – some are homemade, others seem to be professionally done and include pictures. Welcome home Corporal Smith. Welcome home Mommy. Pictures of newborns and toddlers with the caption “I can’t wait to meet my Daddy!” Some feature the American flag. Single-parent families managing the home front while Mom or Dad is serving our country. Holidays and birthdays away from home. Months and milestones in the life of a child that are missed while wearing a uniform. Threats of harm instead of hotel maids and room service. Families together making the ultimate sacrifice.
Being away from family is very hard.
