My dad died last year on March 12th. As the anniversary of his death approached this year, I pondered different ways of acknowledging that day.
From wisdom I gleaned at grief education and support gatherings I’ve facilitated, my mom and I decided we would celebrate my dad on the anniversary of his death. One way we celebrated was my mom purchased ice cream — something my dad loved — for friends. Another way was we held a family Zoom call. It was great to see so many family members and share memories and laughter — something my dad intentionally brought to challenging times. A third way we celebrated was by giving my mom a handmade teddy bear that a friend made from one of my dad’s blue t-shirts — a T-shirt that amplified his blue eyes. It was a meaningful day of healing by celebrating dad.
Another meaningful day had occurred just two days before the 12th. March 10th was a wonderful spring-like day with blue sunny skies and warm weather. I was feeling a bit of angst in anticipating dad’s death anniversary, so I took my mom to Spring Creek Park to enjoy nature. As we got into the car my mom exclaimed, “Look, there’s a cardinal in that tree!” As I’ve mentioned before, some people believe cardinals are messengers from the afterlife. My mom and I smiled at the possibility that dad sent us a message.
When we got to the park, we walked to a bench by Spring Creek, sat down and felt the sunshine on our bodies. We leaned our heads back, closed our eyes to fully take in the warmth and listened to the birds. A song sparrow serenaded us.
Then, after a bit, we sat and watched the creek. And we talked.
We talked about many things. About dad, about things happening in our families, about the upcoming death anniversary and about the healing power of nature. Mom said a couple of times, “The water keeps moving.” Those words shimmered for me. The water kept moving and it felt like it was moving through me, cleansing and healing me from within.
After an hour or so, we decided to head home. But before leaving this glorious natural space, we each took a small stick, thought about a piece of the grief journey we wanted to release and then threw our sticks into the creek. Both sticks landed in a calm pool along the outside edge of the creek. It took a few minutes before our sticks moved into the downstream current. Mom and I agreed that our grief felt like that pool sometimes — a little stuck with our clinging to the ways things used to be. I felt ready to leave some of that stuckness and clinginess behind in a new way. It was a meaningful day of healing in nature.
Since our Spring Creek visit, I became curious about the song sparrow that serenaded us, and whether song sparrows represented something such as cardinals. According to my browser AI, “The song sparrow is considered to be a spiritual bird that represents hope, new beginnings and happiness … Symbolically, a sparrow reminds you that your power comes from within, and you have the ability to move mountains and overcome any difficulties in life that you face …” That felt affirming and made me smile.
The meaningful day of healing by celebrating dad, was partly made possible by the meaningful day of healing in nature two days before. The image of the water moving through me is one I often returned to in my head since then, and it continues to resonate in my heart, body and soul. Like the water, grief and other emotions can continue to move through me. Plus, the possible meanings of the visits from the cardinal and song sparrow brought me joy and comfort. All of which are healing.
You are invited to join me for two new meaningful times of healing in nature that you can carry with you too.
First, our “Walk with Grief” series in partnership with Centre Region Parks and Recreation (CRPR) is held on Tuesdays, April 1st, 8th, 15th and 22nd from 8:30 to 9:30 a.m. at local parks. This series is not an exercise program but instead a time of coming together with others who are grieving a loss and… walking. Walking to move grief from the inside to the outside. Walking to connect with the healing aspects of nature. And walking to know you’re not alone.
And second, our “The Alchemy of Equus: Creating Your New Beginning After Loss” will be held on Friday, April 25, from 9:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. at Buffalo Run Farm, 2929 Buffalo Run Road, Bellefonte. Join Erika Isler, certified Equus coach, and me to more deeply explore your new beginnings through experiential work with horses. The investment is $75 per person. Space is limited.
In addition, you are invited the following ongoing programs, two of which take place at the amazing Millbrook Marsh Nature Center in partnership with CRPR:
- Virtual Monday’s Moments Gatherings, “The Opening of Loss” on Monday, April 7, from noon to 1:30 p.m. on Zoom.
- Stories of Loss in Partnership with Juniper at Brookline on Tuesdays, April 8 and 22 from 4:30 to 6 p.m. at Juniper at Brookline, 1950 Cliffside Drive, State College.
- Med-Knit-ations: Knitting Our Hearts Back Together in Partnership with Centre Region Parks & Recreation on Tuesday, April 15, from noon to 1:30 p.m. at Millbrook Marsh Nature Center, Donald Hamer Community Room, 548 Puddintown Road, State College.
- Monday’s Moments at Millbrook Marsh in Partnership with Centre Region Parks & Recreation on Monday, April 21, from noon to 1:30 p.m. at Millbrook Marsh Nature Center, Donald Hamer Community Room, 548 Puddintown Road, State College.
- Death Café Virtual Gathering on Monday, April 21, from 4:30 to 5:30 p.m. on Zoom.
More information on all of these programs can be found on the Bereavement Gatherings and Events page under Resources on the Koch Funeral Home website. To reserve your spot and receive the invitation links, email Jackie@JackieHook.com, call 814-237-2712 or visit the Koch Funeral Home Facebook page.
Jackie Naginey Hook, MA, is a spiritual director, celebrant and end-of-life doula. She coordinates the Helping Grieving Hearts Heal program through Koch Funeral Home in State College. For more information, please call 814-237-2712 or visit kochfuneralhome.com.
