CENTRE COUNTY — Last Tuesday, my husband and I were on our daily morning walk when I realized that my four main dimensions were all engaged. Those dimensions being my head, my body, my heart and my soul.
On that three-mile walk, my head was engaged in helping me navigate where I was going. It was also helping me count repetitions as I did balancing exercises where I tilted my head up and down, then side to side, while we walked. Plus, since my head includes my ego, it was seriously engaged as I increased my walking speed to keep from being passed by another walker. Yes, my ego can be very competitive!
My body was engaged in helping me breathe and proceed in a forward direction. It was helping me enjoy the movement of walking and the choreography of all my body parts in sync.
My heart was engaged in helping me to feel the peacefulness and joy of being outdoors. I was especially appreciative as we walked through the small wooded area of the Centre Region Parks and Recreation (CRPR) park near our home.
And my soul was engaged in helping me feel connected to the Earth, my husband and all of humanity.
Now, in my descriptions above, I’ve simplified the distinctiveness of the four dimensions, but in reality, there is overlap and communication between them. For example, the heart and head are continually communicating with one another — neurologically, biochemically, biophysically and energetically. In addition, according to Johns Hopkins Medicine, there is a “brain” in the body’s gut called the enteric nervous system that also communicates with the brain in your head.
However, the important point for us is that all together, these four dimensions make an individual. Attending to all four of our dimensions helps us to be whole.
The roots of the words heal, health and holy are about making whole. When we talk about healing in reference to grief, by no means do we mean we should be done with grief or forget our loved ones who died. Instead, we mean making whole. As Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler wrote, “You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again, but you will never be the same.”
Just as I did on that walk last week, the upcoming four-week “Healing on the Grieving Path” series will consider our four main dimensions of the head, body, heart and soul. Grief impacts all parts of us. It is important to find ways to heal and make ourselves whole again in each of these dimensions while we move forward on the grieving path.
The choice of words for the title of this program was very intentional. “Healing” is making whole. “Grieving” means actively participating in moving our grief from the inside to the outside. We can do that in countless ways. Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D., wrote several books on that topic, which we’ll reference, including “Healing Your Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas” and “Healing Your Grieving Soul: 100 Spiritual Practices for Mourners.”
Finally, we chose the word “Path” because grief is a journey. The person we are when we experience a loss is not the same person we are further along the path. Just like Marilyn McEntyre wrote in her poem, “What to Do in the Darkness,” “Find the path by walking it.”
So, if you have lost a loved one, you are invited to join Brenda Oyler Kim, MSW, LCSW and me for “Healing on the Grieving Path,” a four-week grief education and support series. In partnership with Juniper at Brookline, we will meet on Tuesdays, June 3, 10, 17 and 24 from 4:30 to 6 p.m. at their facility, 1950 Cliffside Drive, State College.
This series will provide a safe space to learn about and discuss grief, along with the healing that can occur from actively participating in it. Everyone is welcome, whether they’re only feeling the grief or feeling the grief and the healing of their dimensions.
You are also invited to join Koch Funeral Home’s other community outreach gatherings:
- Virtual Monday’s Moments Gatherings, “Nothing Makes Sense” on Monday, June 2, from noon to 1:30 p.m. on Zoom.
- Med-Knit-ations: Knitting Our Hearts Back Together in Partnership with Centre Region Parks & Recreation on Tuesday, June 3, from noon to 1:30 p.m. at Tom Tudek Memorial Park, Pavilion #2, 400 Herman Drive, State College.
- Monday’s Moments at Millbrook Marsh in Partnership with Centre Region Parks & Recreation on Monday, June 16, from noon to 1:30 p.m. at Tom Tudek Memorial Park, Pavilion #2, 400 Herman Drive, State College.
- Death Café Virtual Gathering on Monday, June 16, from 4:30 to 5:30 p.m. on Zoom.
- The Alchemy of Equus on Friday, June 27, from 9:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. at Buffalo Run Farm, 2929 Buffalo Run Road, Bellefonte.
More information on all of these programs can be found on the Bereavement Gatherings and Events page under Resources on the Koch Funeral Home website. To reserve your spot and receive the invitation links, email Jackie@JackieHook.com, call 814-237-2712 or visit the Koch Funeral Home Facebook page.
Jackie Naginey Hook, MA, is a spiritual director, celebrant and end-of-life doula. She coordinates the Helping Grieving Hearts Heal program through Koch Funeral Home in State College. For more information, please call 814-237-2712 or visit kochfuneralhome.com.
