CENTRE COUNTY — “We’re new to the Gazette. This is our second article and we’re excited to be here! In the spirit of Father’s Day, we hope you’ll appreciate this month’s article and give us your feedback about the column.”
This has been a line used a lot in our household over the past year. My wife and I have two beautiful, yet young children, Charlotte and Parker. With that said, “Mommy and Daddy do what they say” has become a theme in our home. I believe for most well-intentioned people, this is the definition of integrity.
Our quote has been primarily used in the context surrounding discipline. It’s referenced when the kids push the envelope with how much they can get away with. Not listening after multiple attempts, no movie night. Poor behavior while we’re running errands, no playground before quiet time. Hitting one another or Mommy and Daddy, timeout. Get the idea?
Paige and I aren’t drill sergeants, but we understand the value in our children knowing we mean what we say. We’ve seen it with other families. If you tell your child something and don’t follow through, they’ve learned that Mommy and Daddy can be manipulated. While I am newer in this fathering group, I’ve learned the value of consistency and following through with what you say in parenting, relationships, careers, you name it!
While the quote has been effective in disciplining, I believe it holds even more value. Mommy and Daddy take care of themselves and each other. Our kids know that we regularly exercise, eat healthy and talk about our emotions if we’re feeling sad or frustrated. They know that if we say something we didn’t mean, we will apologize. They also know that if they want to tell us something, we will listen and not just look at our screens.
It’s no secret that children are essentially sponges with arms and legs. They listen to everything, and pick up on what you say and do or worse, don’t say and don’t do. Consider this when teaching lessons, both direct and indirect. Follow through on what you say, and remember that they pick up on your actions just as much as your words. I try to focus on making sure these two are congruent. This allows you to feel the effects in your parenting, relationships, careers and more.
John Valentik is an Assistant Teaching Professor at Penn State, owner of Happy Valley Wellness Solutions and has worked in human services and local fathering efforts in Centre County, in cooperation with the National Center for Fathering. Read more and comment at Facebook.com/profile.php?id=61571382497388 or by emailing jgv5002@psu.edu.
