By ALEX RAUP
Back in 2020, like all of you, my wife and I were spending lots of time at home. In addition to figuring out how to be a virtual assistant principal, I was also doing a lot of learning about how to be a dad. Our first child was due to be born later that year and, as a first-time dad, I was reading and listening to everything I thought could teach me how not to mess this whole fathering thing up.
One of the best resources I came across was a book titled Becoming a Dad by Nashville-based therapists Stephen James and David Thomas. The book has so many solid and practical takeaways, and the one that really jumped out to me (and kind of seemed to contradict all of the other great things that the authors shared) was that I really just needed to be myself. To be honest, amidst all of the content I was consuming and advice I was receiving, the idea that just being Alex was all my child would need from me felt almost too simple. While I have some qualities that I am proud of, I definitely have a greater number of areas that I know need some work, and I couldn’t help but wonder if I was really, truly ready to be a dad.
As the years have gone by, I have seen that James and Thomas were right: there is no dad (or type of dad) that my kids need more than the one they’ve got. I still seek and find enjoyment in guidance from the Bible, great podcasts, and men who have been fathering a lot longer than I have, but I also try and show myself a lot of grace and remember that, as long as I’m showing up and giving it my all, that is enough for Lanie, Meyer, and the new little one who will be joining our crew this summer.
So, keep on learning, growing and doing the work to get better but, first and foremost, as emotional wellness leader, Miles Adcox, says, “get a PhD in yourself.” Prioritize parenting with the personality and skills you already have, the ones that are uniquely you.
Alex is the proud dad of Lanie, 5, and Meyer, 3, and he and his wife, Mackenzie, will be welcoming their third child this July. Alex serves as the principal of Radio Park Elementary School here in State College and has been employed by the State College Area School District for his entire career having previously served as an English teacher, high school coach, and advisor of various clubs. His passions include running, swimming, skiing, reading, attending State High and PSU sporting events, and whatever his wife and kids are into at the moment.
In cooperation with the National Center for Fathering, we aim to provide monthly Action Ideas to stimulate conversation among families. To comment on this article, for more information, or to join local conversations, contact Alex at adr25@scasd.org. To read more, go to https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61571382497388.
