By JOHN VALENTIK
I wish this quote was mine, but credit belongs to Bob Marley. I’ve added this to the goals I review regularly, and it’s become one of the most important parenting reminders. It probably sounds like an oxymoron for a father of a three-and five-year-old, but hear me out. Slowing down might be just what the doctor, or dad, ordered.
“Hurry up, we’re going to be late!” “No right foot, not left foot.” “We gotta leave in two minutes!” “Bedtime was twenty minutes ago.” “We’re gonna miss church snacks!” “We gotta go!”
These are just a few examples of the urgency that comes with raising two young children. When I look critically at these interactions, the timeliness is absolutely warranted in some cases, as my wife Paige and I find it respectful to show up on time or early, and feel this is important to show our children by example.
But many of these moments don’t require urgency at all. Taking a few extra moments or breaths during conflict resolution with the kids. Pausing to let my son figure out which shoe goes where, even if it takes 20 extra seconds. Spending five extra minutes with Charlotte and the imaginary story we’ve created with her Barbies and stuffed animals. Do I have stuff to do afterwards? Of course. Is an email or time in front of the TV more important than a very limited time where I have this opportunity with my children? 100% no!
What I’ve learned isn’t to throw responsibility out the window. It’s to recognize the countless opportunities throughout our days where we can slow down to truly be in the moment.
Whether or not you have children, can you be more intentional in your everyday conversations?
Let your dog sniff a few extra trees on a walk? Not only is that good for the pup, but it also gives you a chance to ponder, reflect, and simply be. Slow down while washing dishes, folding laundry, or even eating a meal. Remember, my friends, life isn’t an emergency. One day, we may look back and realize the little things really were the big ones. Maybe the day we stop racing is the day we finally win the race.
John Valentik is an assistant teaching professor at Penn State. As a writer for the local fathering effort and in cooperation with the National Center for Fathering, we aim to provide monthly Action Ideas to stimulate conversation among families. To comment on this article, for more information or to join local conversations, contact John Valentik at jgv5002@psu.edu. To read more, visit www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61571382497388.
