Thursday, March 28, 2024

A Positive Influence: For a ‘Big’ Return, Invest in a ‘Little’

Going for a walk; kicking around a soccer ball; helping with homework; enjoying a treat at Meyer’s Dairy, Sweet Frog or Rita’s; playing Minecraft or Monopoly; baking cookies; or discussing current events — these are the kinds of activities Big Brothers and Big Sisters share with their Little Brothers and Sisters.

But most of all, they pay attention.

“When I became a Big Brother through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program,” says Jimmy McDonough, 27, “I thought I’d have to come up with lots of ideas. But it’s been much more collaborative. Josh [age 14], my Little, and I figure out what to do together, as friends.”

Currently, Big Brothers, Big Sisters of Centre County (BBBS), a Youth Services Bureau (YSB) program, is in need of many more Jimmys. “We’re looking for Bigs of different ages, colors, shapes, sizes — all types of individuals,” says Denise McCann, a vice president of operations at YSB. “The key is motivation, really wanting to help a youngster, whether that means working with a child with lots of challenging issues, or preferring to assist one who’s just going through a rough time. We need Bigs of all kinds.”

BBBS staff, left to right: Denise McCann, Vernel Smith, Christie Warner, and Zack Mase

An hour once a week — for 9-12 months — is the minimum time commitment asked of Bigs. But many of the volunteers forge relationships with their Littles that last for years, even after they both leave the program.

“Our kids often have solid parental relationships,” says McCann, “but maybe there’s a sibling who requires additional time because of an illness or something else, so the Little needs extra emotional support. Or there may be a transitional issue such as a divorce — or an incarcerated parent. We’ve seen a lot of that with the opioid epidemic.”

YSB was established in 1968 by Judge R. Paul Campbell, who wanted services to be available to kids in their own community. BBBS became a YSB program in the early 1970s, and it has been affiliated with the national BBBS organization for the past 20 years.

When 15-year-old Ellie was paired with 66-year-old Ann Taylor-Schmidt last year, she wasn’t sure what to expect. But Ellie soon felt comfortable with Taylor-Schmidt. “I like drawing and anything to do with art,” says Ellie, “and she’s an artist too. One time we tried drawing Warrior Cats from the book series together, but that didn’t work too well.”

“Our drawing styles are very different,” Taylor-Schmidt explains. “Ellie drew cartoon cats and I drew a realistic cat, and it looked pretty funny. Oh my gosh, we laughed so hard!”

Helping Ellie explore potential career paths, including those in the art, music, and film industries, is on Ann’s to-do list. Drawing will always be their favorite pastime, but Taylor-Schmidt also plans activities like hiking, cooking, and watching movies from the library. “I sometimes surprise Ellie on those days so she doesn’t have a chance to say ‘Grrr, let’s draw!’ or that could be all we’d do.”

Ellie, right, and Big Sister Ann Taylor-Schmidt bonded over their shared love of art.

Taylor-Schmidt decided to become a Big Sister (“in this instance, more like a great aunt,” she says) after retiring from a career in marketing and social media. “My goal is to be part of Ellie’s circle of support and to offer her new opportunities.”

When asked what she herself gets from the relationship, she says, “I helped raise my step-daughter from the age of 12 and missed having a child in my life. Spending time with Ellie brings back a sense of energy and liveliness. I highly recommend becoming a BBBS volunteer to anyone like me with a few hours to spare.”

Their case manager, Zack Maser, says, “I’m well aware of the value of intergenerational relationships.” He had been looking for Bigs aged 55 and older when Ann’s application came in. “Because they share a strong interest in art, particularly drawing and music,” says Maser, “I encouraged Ellie and Ann to consider a match. I thought, over time, their relationship would unfold in other ways too, and it has.

“More often than not, kids say they’d like a college-age Big. But it’s cool to see the stereotypes start to go away when you have matches like this one; and I have more than a few on my caseload,” says Maser. He has been a BBBS case manager for three years. Also a musician and photographer, Maser uses these skills to enhance his work.

“There’s so much wisdom that can pass between the generations,” he says. “A Big may be a senior, and yet be connecting with a Little in ways that work for both of them. We want our volunteers to grow as much as our kids. Encouraging that, bringing out the best in everybody, is something I enjoy facilitating.”

Sixteen-year-old Taji’s Big Brother, Darryl Jansen, is 31. Although usually reserved, Taji easily expresses his regard for Darryl.

“He looks out for me, making sure everything is okay,” he says. “If I need help with anything, he’s there. Like times when I know what to say but can’t say it the way I want. We talk things over and that makes it easier. He’s a good person.”

Taji and Jansen, a pharmacy technician, have forged a strong bond during the past two years. Their many shared interests include basketball, bowling, Japanese Manga comics, and video gaming.

They’ve also traveled to look at some potential colleges for Taji. And recently the two attended a Reptile Expo in Altoona. “Reptiles interest me,” Taji says. “We got to see snakes, salamanders, chameleons, even a crocodile.” But Taji and Jansen spend a lot of time just talking too.

“I see much of my younger self in Taji,” he says. “When I was growing up, I wished I had someone I could discuss challenges with, who would answer my questions and show up when needed. I want to be that person for Taji.

“But he’s there for me, too. Taji is a caring, giving, all-around guy — polite, humble, and respectful. I think being matched with an African-American Big Brother gives him a sense of comfort and security. We can discuss important issues from a shared perspective.”

Darryl Jansen (left) and Taji

“I’m so happy I was able to match Taji and Darryl,” says their case manager Christie Warner. “It was important to both Taji and his mom that he be paired with an African-American male. “My hope is that we can recruit many more Bigs, particularly those with diverse backgrounds, to pair with the children on our waiting list.

“The more a match stretches over time, the better. The longest match now assigned to me has been together for 11 years; the next longest, for eight years. And I have several pairs who have been together for at least five years.”

That longevity wouldn’t happen if the Bigs didn’t benefit from a match just as much as the Littles. “Never once,” says Warner, “no matter why the match ended, have I heard a Big say ‘I wish I hadn’t done this.’ It’s always, ‘I’m so sad I have to stop.’”

Warner has been a case manager with BBBS for the past three years, she but served as a YSB family counselor for 10 years before that. She says that seeing Littles and their families successfully reaching their goals, and knowing she helped, makes her job a rewarding one.

Vivacious 6-year-old Meri describes her Big Sister Miranda as “very, very nice.” Meri likes meeting Miranda for ice cream, feeding the ducks in a nearby park, and having picnics. “But the last time it started pouring and thundering on us,” Meri says. So they hurried home where, with Meri’s mom’s help, they moved a heater onto the porch and ate their sandwiches and cookies there. According to Meri, that made the picnic even better.

Recently Meri and Miranda made birdhouses from plastic bottles and string. They’ve also picked wild flowers, pressed them, and used the colorful petals to make bookmarks and window hangings.

Miranda Smith, 33, works for the Pregnancy Resource Clinic. She was introduced to the BBBS program by a co-worker, Mariele Schechter, who talked about the activities she and her Little have been sharing for five years now. “I love the way Mariele is investing in this child,” says Smith, “so I decided I wanted to make that kind of difference too.

“Meri is super smart, observant, and so creative,” Smith continues. “Talkative and bubbly, she’s constantly on to the next thing. It’s lots of fun keeping up with her. But sometimes just being together is enough.

“And even when other things are happening, I can always find at least an hour a week in my evening schedule. It’s not necessarily about the grand gesture. A one-on-one interaction like this can be what’s most valuable.”

Vernel Smith (not related to Miranda Smith), put Meri and her Big together. She has been a BBBS case manager for almost 20 years. When she remembers earlier matches, she often thinks of two long-term Littles.

Courtnie, an intellectually challenged child, was 8 when she entered BBBS. She had lost both parents and lived with her elderly grandfather and bedridden grandmother. “This was a youngster who needed all we could give,” says Smith. “Her physically challenged Big Sister, Janet, who was in her 50s, happened to live on the same street, so Courtnie spent a lot of time at Janet’s house.

“I took Courtnie on lots of active adventures, including a BBBS event each month, and secured community services for the family. She stayed in the program throughout her teens.”

Left to right: Big/Little pairs Kyle Peck and Jace; Jimmy McDonough and Josh

Another long-term Little whom Smith thinks of often is Tiffany. When she turned 7, her dad reached out for help. Becca, Tiffany’s Big Sister for many years (Tiffany remained a Little until she turned 18), provided both attention and affection. Smith, too, spent extra time with Tiffany. “My husband and I even taught her to ride a bike,” she says. Tiffany, now in her 20s, still stays in touch with Smith.

“Families want the best for their kids,” says Smith, “and they know extra attention from a Big Brother or Big Sister can be a positive factor in a child’s development. “Both the Big and the Little, as well as the Little’s family, have a say in the match on several levels,” says McCann. “And the volunteers go through a rigorous process that, in addition to an interview, includes providing references and clearances. A lot of the Bigs and Littles stay in touch throughout their lives when the match has been successful — and our case managers work hard for that outcome.

“Now that the pandemic is easing,” McCann continues, “we hope to recruit many more Bigs to match with children currently on the waiting list; and then to go beyond those geographic areas we’ve been limited to in the past. COVID-19 made it difficult both to hold onto volunteers and to recruit new ones, yet the number of kids needing Big Brothers and Big Sisters keeps rising. We strive to have at least 100 matches at any one time, though there have been as many as 200 when enough Bigs volunteer. Right now, about 40 children are on the waiting list, each one hoping for a Big Brother or Sister.”

So potential Bigs, ages 18 to ???, are encouraged to volunteer now for an amazing return on their investment. As Meri’s Big Sister Miranda says, “rather than grand gestures, making a real difference can come down to being a positive influence in one child’s life — in as little as an hour a week.”

To volunteer, or for more information, call (814) 237-5731.