Big families are something of a novelty these days. The U.S. Census reported in 2019 that the average American family size is 3.23 people. Despite the challenges inherent in raising a large brood, some local families are making it work—and loving it.
‘They bring us so much joy’
Jenny and Todd Summers of Hecla Park (Mingoville) share eight children. The oldest are Andrew, 20; Austin, 18; and Araelia, 17. Then, says Jenny, “There’s an almost five-year break between what we call our ‘bigs and littles,’ or our first and
second litter.” The younger kids are Anthony, 12; Asher 10; Abram 8; Anna Kate, 6; and Avalynn, 4.
Jenny grew up as the oldest of seven in a blended family. Whereas she attests that she always wanted four or five children, and her husband wanted two, “It was not something we really talked about before we got married, or even when we started having a family, but we’ve left the size of our family up to God to decide, which is not really talked about or treasured in our world. It’s taken a lot of faith on our part and talking about it with one another, but every single child we have has been such a blessing, and I can’t imagine our life without one of them.” Jenny says she never imagined God would give her this many children. Although it’s at times overwhelming, “It’s so much fun. They bring us so much joy.”
Acknowledging the reservations many people have about bringing a child into the world—How will they be treated? Can we afford them? Is our house big enough? Do we have a big enough car?—Jenny says, “All of those things have a way of working out.”
The Summers credit their “really supportive community” and local churches with helping them raise their children.
“We love hand-me-downs,” says Jenny. “We sometimes end up with a bag or two on our front porch—people are really kind and generous. We didn’t have a car big enough for the whole family to go to church on Sundays. We had some friends three years ago who came together and bought us a 15-passenger van. It was completely shocking to us that our friends and family and church community [Centre Church] came together and helped us get a van, and we didn’t do anything to earn it or deserve it. They were just kind.”
Canning, budgeting, and sharing
The Summerses both work full-time and take many practical measures to plan, budget, and be resourceful with necessities. They are very conscious not to incur debt, which can be very hard to avoid with a family of ten. The Summerses have a garden, and Jenny, who grew up on a farm and was “taught well” by her parents “how to live frugally and provide for your family,” cans produce and buys food in bulk when she can. She often cooks in bulk, too, making three or so batches of a recipe at one time and freezing some.
“[Canning] gets the children involved, so they appreciate the work that goes into preserving your food and the fun you have when you get to open it up in the wintertime, and it tastes like summertime,” Jenny explains. “My kids love my canned applesauce. To open up applesauce or apple butter that I’ve made in the fall, and to be able to have it on cold winter days, is so nice. I don’t have to go to the store to get it.”
The family will also buy a butchered animal from time to time. Right now, they’re looking forward to having lots of pork products to eat, as they just bought a butchered pig.
Jenny says her own children are also a wonderful resource in contributing to the day-to-day harmony of a large family.
“When I brought a new baby home, my children would thank me, because the children end up being a gift to one another as siblings, and I think that’s so beautiful,” Jenny says. “As parents, we have our children for so many years as we raise them, but the relationship children have with their siblings outlasts the relationship they have with their own parents. So giving a child a sibling is such a gift to them.”
The older Summers children will make the time to be home if their parents want to go out on a date together, have a meeting to attend, etc. “Our 17-year-old—she’s the best babysitter because she’s grown up knowing how to take care of the younger children,” says Jenny. “We are very thankful for the older three, who take care of the younger five.”
‘They know they can always come home’
Something the Summerses have prioritized is family mealtime. Though dinner times and lengths may vary, “There’s not a night that we don’t eat at the table,” says Jenny. Dinner is a time Jenny says her family can connect with one another, sharing the best (and sometimes worst) parts of their days. Now that the older kids are living more independently, Jenny says Sunday dinner has become a special time, when her children know they’re welcome to come home and eat. “I always want to have an open home—so [my children] know they can always come home,” Jenny says.
Another way Jenny makes sure each child is nurtured is through family movie nights, when they all come together and bond in a fun way. She also works in individualized attention to each child throughout the day—during bath time, while doing homework, preparing dinner, doing laundry, etc. “There’s always room for intentional conversation,” she says. “Room for checking in and spending time together.”
Spousal support
Jenny and Todd have been married for 23 years, and although their relationship has had its shares of ups and downs, Jenny says her husband “loves me so well and is so intentional to make sure I know that. “We do our best to communicate with one another,” she says. “There are seasons where it’s kind of passing ships in the night—passing the baton, as far as our parenting roles.”
The Summerses make a point of having a date night every couple of months, often doing something simple, like going to Barnes & Noble or to a movie together. “We may tack on a shopping trip on the end of it, but just spending time alone with one another is really satisfying for us,” Jenny says.
“It’s not always perfect. It’s heartbreaking and hard, and it takes a lot of work for Todd and me to remain united and to have a united front for our kids and to be united with one another,” Jenny reflects. “It takes a lot of prayer and love, but I can’t imagine our lives not together. A strong marriage equals a strong, healthy family. We have a lot to be happy about. We have a lot of good friends and family to help us along the way.”
‘Prepared us for the real world’
Brittany (Guenot) Glunt grew up in Pine Glen in a family of six girls and two boys: Raven, now 39; Brandon, 37; Autumn, 36; Brittany, 33; Summer, 30; Keila, 27; Ryan, 24; and Amber, 23.
“Growing up in a big family can be stressful and hard, especially if you’re one of the oldest,” Brittany says. “There was always a lot of confusion—a lot of noise at my house. I think I’m more laid back because of it. It doesn’t bother me being in a crowd, because that’s what I’ve always known.”
Brittany says she’s sure there were times she and her siblings wished they were the only child, usually when they had to share or sacrifice something that wasn’t in the family budget. Looking back, Brittany is now grateful for the lessons she learned in a big family.
“I feel like it only prepared us for the real world,” she says. “Everything was not handed to us on a silver platter.”
Brittany recalls her friends having cars and cellphones in high school, luxuries she didn’t have until she graduated and worked to buy them herself. She had to share rooms with her siblings, waiting until the older kids moved out to have some space to herself.
“It taught me patience because we shared everything we got,” recalls Brittany. “Along with the individual presents we got at Christmas, we always got a big, expensive present to share, a computer or a game console. We always had to take turns playing them. It taught me responsibility—when I was old enough, I often, when needed, babysat my younger siblings.”
‘We were never bored’
“One advantage of having so many siblings was that we were never bored,” says Brittany. “We always had each other to play kickball and baseball in the summer or play out in the snow in the winter.”
These days, the Guenots go out of their way to spend time together. You can often see them gathering at their father’s business, Troy’s Philadelphia Style Hoagies in Bellefonte. “We always get together—not only on holidays,” Brittany says. “Three of my sisters, we all live in Milesburg, so on the weekends, if we can, we usually go to one of our houses or have our kids play together.”
‘Love each other and stay close’
“Advice I would give to another family is just to love each other and stay close,” Brittany says. “In my experience, my siblings are the ones who have become some of my best friends today. I never really thought this when I was younger, but we really were blessed to grow up in such a big family with so much love. I am grateful to my parents for making sure of that and raising us like they did!”
Homeschooling eight kids
Karen and Joe Rhoads of Pine Grove Mills are parents to eight children, ages 28 to 12: six boys and identical twin girls. A “typical” day for them involves homeschooling the younger children (they send their children to Grace Prep High School when they’re old enough), volunteering through the lunch program at Grace Prep, practicing piano, participating in Boy Scouts (four of her boys have become Eagle Scouts), going to a homeschooling co-op, participating in a Class Act Production theatre event, or traveling to a soccer game.
“Nobody has ever played sports in our family until they’ve gotten to Grace Prep,” Karen says. “It was really hard to juggle multiple activities and still have that family time because we still like to be involved in a kids’ program at church on Wednesday nights. So it’s usually either Boy Scouts or family time.” Generally, the activities the Rhoads children take part in are close to home, with the exception of the co-op, which is in Tyrone.
“It’s an opportunity for the kids to have some social time with friends, but also to learn in a more classroom-like setting, rather than just the one-on-one type learning,” says Karen.
Karen works from home, and Joe is an electrician. The family appreciates hand-me-downs and is savvy with food through canning salsa, tomato juice, peaches, applesauce, and some summer vegetables. “My husband is very interested in hunting, and some of my children are,” Karen says. “Some are better at going out in the early morning than others,” she adds with a laugh, “but we’ve also canned venison and those things, too.”
During one memorable trip a few years ago, when the youngest Rhoads child was a little over a year old, the family went on a month-long road trip to Oregon and back, tenting along the way. “That was quite a trip,” Karen recalls fondly, reflecting on the fine line between “brave” and “foolish.” “I wouldn’t trade it, but I don’t know that I’d duplicate it either.” For the trip, the family ate canned meat to save costs on food.
“I have a chest freezer and a standup freezer so that, as I find specials on meat and things like that, I can stock up my freezer,” says Karen. “A lot of times we’re shopping for meat in our freezer, rather than, ‘This is our meal plan for the week,’ and we have to go pick up our meat.”
Originally, Karen remembers “four” being the magic number of children she was “comfortable with,” envisioning two boys and two girls. When they were dating, her husband said he wanted a big family, and Karen told him he should maybe date other girls, “because I’m not going to have 10 kids.”
‘A journey of faith’
“I really didn’t envision having a big family,” Karen says. Then, she got pregnant. “It was really a journey of faith to trust that God had a better plan for our family than I did,” says Karen. “It was not an easy journey of faith; I’ll just say that. I got to the point where I said, ‘I’m just going to give God the freedom to give us however many kids he thinks we should have, and that’s a really scary thing because you don’t know what that looks like.”
Karen remembers praying that God would show her what her family would look like, but she never got a sense of God answering that prayer. “In hindsight, I look back and say, ‘You know what, in the state I was in, there is no way I could have handled the picture of my family at that point.’ He needed to unveil it slowly to me.”
There is a six-year gap between the Rhoadses’ oldest two children and about two years between each of the rest. Karen delivered her fifth son, her twins, and her last son at home with a midwife, which Karen describes as “a wonderful experience.”
“I’m a big advocate for big families because I see the dynamics,” Karen explains. “Being a parent isn’t easy, regardless of how many children you have.” Karen says in a single-child household, “The parent is the playmate for that child.”
People will remark to her how busy they are with their one child, saying things like, “I don’t know how you do it with your eight, because I just have one.” Karen says the problem is that the one child has no other playmates. Joe grew up with a lot of cousins who “lived in the same hollow,” she says, “and he saw the value in having a lot of families that were close in age that you could enjoy time with.”
Though Karen is “absolutely thrilled that we have a big family, and I wouldn’t trade it,” she says “some moments are harder than others, but I still, in the grand scheme of things, I am so grateful for the family God has given us.
“But I also know,” she continues, “not everybody is called to walk the same path. I do not ever want anybody to feel that I judge them for the number of kids they choose to have or the way they choose to school their children. You have to find the best fit for the family and for the child.”
‘We’re living the adventure!’
Karen says she’s never heard parents say they regretted having so many children, but only that they regretted not having more. “There’s a lot we don’t plan for, but there’s always good in everything that happens,” she says. “As my husband likes to say, ‘We’re living the adventure!’”
Karen says sometimes she thinks it would have been nice to give the children more of an opportunity to participate in sports or other activities, but she is “confident in the fact that giving them family time, and five of seven nighttime meals sitting around the table as a family, is much more important.”
Karen is the first to admit she and her husband have made mistakes along the way and let her children down sometimes. While she acknowledges there are things they should have done differently, “The hardest thing was going between being able to hold the hands of the two I had with me and making sure they were able to go with me safely, to getting to the point where I realized, ‘I don’t have enough hands!’ That was a hard realization—but work through it! Those who are willing to go through ‘I don’t have enough hands’—it’s really a blessing on the other side.”
