A Time to Reconnect

This past weekend my wife and I did something we haven’t done in more than two years. Late Saturday afternoon, we went to a good friend’s house and had a great time at a party with about 30 other friends. We spent five hours socializing and catching up with people we hadn’t seen in a long time. Because it was a beautiful sunny day with the temperature in the low 50s we spent some of the time outdoors, but as the sun set and it got cooler we were all inside the house spread throughout the kitchen and dining, living and family rooms. 

We talked with each other and about each other. We talked about parents, children, vacations, weddings, medical issues, medications, exercise, work, training, food, concerts, cars, deaths, biking, hiking, beverages, roads, electronics and the National Shrine of Our Lady of Czestochowa.

Regarding the shrine, I should mention that this good friend’s house is in Bucks County. The friends in attendance had mostly traveled from the surrounding areas of Bucks and Montgomery counties. We had driven from Happy Valley, arrived a little earlier in the day, and went visiting some sights we had never had the chance to see during the seven years when we lived in Bucks County. One of which was the National Shrine of Our Lady of Czestochowa (sounds like: cheh · stuh · how · vuh). 

The shrine is dedicated to the Blessed Mother, Mary. It’s a place where people can find quiet, peace and refuge from our busy world. Because of my wife’s and my interest in the divine feminine, it was someplace we have wanted to witness, and this party was the perfect opportunity for a side trip. On our drive there the Beatles song “Let It Be” appropriately played from the shuffle mode on our phone’s playlist. 

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be

But it’s not all reverence and iconography, the shrine is also home for two weekends in September to the Polish-American Family Festival & Country Fair, one of the oldest and most popular festivals of its kind in the U.S. – which will be back in full force in 2022. If you are a fan of kielbasa, pierogis, placki and gołąbki, this is the place to be in late summer!

But back to the party…  one word that I did not hear all afternoon and evening was COVID. The topic of vaccines came up for one short moment, but only briefly, and in a general way. It was great to be somewhere with friends – to talk, laugh, and reach out and touch a living person, rather than conversing with a smiling face in front of a fake background, no matter how personally connected with them you are. 

As much as I appreciate technology and the various online meeting software and apps that are available nowadays, if I never have to do another virtual gathering I will be more than fine with that. On a personal level it has been nice for small family sessions, but on a business level it’s absolutely useless for accomplishing anything meaningful. It’s the embodiment of Lewis Lapham’s tongue-in-cheek “Rules of Influence:” “A good meeting is one at which nothing happens. Sit erect, second all the motions, remember everybody’s name.”

And the extra special Happy Valley theme for this rousing get-together is that the common connection for many of the people at the party was Penn State. Most everyone who was there went to Penn State. Which meant the conversations were about Penn State, things we did at Penn State, people we know at Penn State, places we went with Penn Staters, places we want to go with Penn Staters and places other Penn Staters went. You get the idea. Even the things we’re unhappy with Penn State about, such as some trustee and athletic department decisions, are still a common connection.

It was a personal reminder about that which has been missing from my life the last two years – and the lives of many other Penn Staters we know – the inability to get together live and in-person. The tangible shared experience and bond. Certainly it’s a theme for many other college alumni and plenty of other affiliations that we all have – hometown, high school, jobs, organizations, professional teams, etc. But with more than 700,000 Penn Staters worldwide it’s a pretty big group of other people with which to have an association. 

And that association, as my wife pointed out to me, is one that is widespread among those I’m acquainted with. Certainly the university regards itself as an academic institution, but for me the larger and much more important function is the human relationships that are forged during our times as we transitioned from kids into adults. Sure, it might be easy to take the cynical view of college friendships like William Hurt’s character in the movie “The Big Chill:”  

“…a long time ago we knew each other for a short period of time… It was easy back then. No one had a cushier berth than we did. It’s not surprising our friendship could survive that. It’s only out there in the real world that it gets tough.”

However, not lost on the other characters in the movie was the reality that they were all back together. Granted, it was for a classmate’s funeral and they were Michigan alums, but that aside, the salient point of the shared experience that served as the ties-that-bind is a wonderful feeling to have with another group of human beings. And that was the feeling that came back in full force for me this weekend. 

So, as Happy Valley gets back to normal, I hope and wish that you too, if you haven’t already, will have many opportunities to connect with those who are meaningful to you.

As Prince sings in “Let’s Go Crazy:”

If you don’t like the world you’re living in
Take a look around you
At least you got friends