Gibbs’ Rule No. 39: There Is No Such Thing as a Coincidence

Since I was young, I always looked forward to the fall, and growing up in western Pennsylvania, fall meant football. Yeah, I know, I’m a hockey guy, but I was a football guy first and I’ve been a fan for a long time. With new head coaches leading my three favorite football programs—the Pittsburgh Steelers, the Buffalo Bills and the Penn State Nittany Lions—there was a real sense of excitement for this fall.

Suffice it to say, it has not gone as a lot of us had hoped it would. It was not a good week for my football teams. The Steelers lost to the Cleveland Browns; the Bills lost to archrival New England at home; and Penn State lost its second Big Ten game to a highly underrated Northwestern team. 

Heck, even the South Carolina game I went to on Saturday ended in an OT loss for the Gamecocks. I attended the game with church friends who root for Michigan and Oregon, but we all agreed the game day experience at the SEC’s University of South Carolina was awesome. Well, at least the two high school football teams (May River and North Central) that I work with for FCA here in South Carolina won.

I’m retired, so why do I still care so much about these “games” played by kids, college students and some grown men? I love the live drama, the competition and the camaraderie that comes from the social connections at sporting events. Also, a big part of it is simply this: staying connected socially is a key to healthy aging. And guess what? I am definitely aging!  

The importance of staying active, and connected socially, is critical to our health as we age, especially in retirement. The research backs it up. Active physically? Yes. But socially, emotionally and spiritually as well. For those of you who know me, I’m sure it comes as a great surprise to know that my social network is alive and well.  In fact, the number of my recent encounters that center around my various connections has me believing NCIS’s Leroy Jethro Gibbs’ Rule #39: “There is no such thing as a coincidence.” 

First of all, who is Gibbs and why should you care about his rules?

Well, I am a big fan of the CBS naval investigation show “NCIS,” which coincidentally was created in 2003 by Penn State’s very own Donald P. Bellisario. The university named the College of Communications after him in recognition of his $30 million philanthropic gift. Given tonight’s season premiere is rumored to include the return of two of my all-time favorite NCIS characters, Anthony DiNozzo and Leroy Jethro Gibbs, my wife and I have been eagerly awaiting the start of season 24. 

Gibbs, (played by Mark Harmon) was the main character in “NCIS” until season 19, when his character retired to Alaska.  His rules were an integral part of the series over the years and one of the most popular was Gibbs’ Rule #39. This principle is a critical part of Gibbs’ investigative philosophy. It serves as a reminder for his NCIS team to always look for patterns and connections, especially when dealing with complex cases.

So, what does this have to do with my passion for football? Glad you asked.  

Social Connections and Relationships Matter

Fellow alum and Penn State football supporter Bill Shelow is the CEO and president of LIBRA Insurance Partners. He had me deliver a speech about the importance of bringing your passion to your work at their fall Carrier Connection Conference in Austin, Texas, last week. He’s the uncle of St. Joseph’s Catholic Academy and Penn State grad Matt Steyers. Matt, coincidentally, is one of my son Ryan’s best friends and former baseball teammates as well as college roommates.  

While in Austin, where they might play a little football by the way, I met an amazing group of professionals from LIBRA and from over 20 insurance companies. The very first person I met at the conference was Dan Hudgens, divisional VP of Protective Insurance.  It just so happens that I have spoken to the Protective company several times because, you guessed it, a connection: Joe Nuskowski, former volunteer assistant hockey coach at Penn State, is a VP of integration strategy at Protective.

During the pre-dinner reception, Carol Goetsch, VP of institutional markets for LIBRA, introduced herself to me because she saw my USA Hockey laptop bag and wanted to chat about hockey. She said she was from Minnesota, that four of her five kids played hockey and her husband coached. I asked where in Minnesota and she said she lives in Maple Grove, outside of Minneapolis. Turns out she is less than 2 miles from where my son Ryan lives! Coincidentally, I invited myself to sit at a table with Carol and some of her friends.

This is where it gets even crazier. Sitting at the table are people who are fans of the following football programs: Ohio State, Michigan, Minnesota, Rutgers, Penn State and Wisconsin. How did I end up at a table full of Big Ten football people? I should mention that we did have a party crasher who cheers for Notre Dame, and as much as I would like to give my new friend Corey Gavins grief about it, I actually wanted to attend Notre Dame out of high school, so he gets a pass.  

As we began discussions, the level of coincidence increased dramatically. John Knier now lives in Charlotte but is originally from Minnetonka, Minnesota, and plays hockey. I asked where in Charlotte and he said, “A rink you’ve probably never heard of, in Pineville, North Carolina.”  I proclaimed, “You can’t be serious! My nephew Nicholas Battista is the director of hockey there!” John then asked if I knew his hockey mentor Rick Ramaley, aka “The Rammer,” the longtime head coach at Nichols Prep in Buffalo. “Are you kidding me?” I blare out. “Of course, we played Nichols when I coached the Jr. Penguins and I used to recruit kids from Nichols for Penn State!”

Just when it couldn’t get any weirder, I asked the couple from Michigan sitting across the table, Dave and Maura Roddy-Ping, did you ever hear the name John Bacon from Ann Arbor? Maura practically leaped out of her chair and said, “I grew up next door to John in Ann Arbor!” At this point I’m beginning to think this whole thing is a set-up. I said, “John has been a friend since 1986 when he and I coached together at Culver Military Academy, and he actually wrote the foreword for my book!” Coincidentally, the attendees received a copy of my book at the conference. The next morning, I sat down at a random table for breakfast and Jim Wanek introduced himself and he’s from, ready…Nebraska!  

Come on folks, you just can’t make this stuff up!  I have to give a shoutout to LIBRA’s Kelli Grass and Becca Curtis and photographer Brittany Nielsen for making me feel like a star during my time at the conference.  Many new friends were made and I’m sure the network will continue to grow.

Meanwhile back in South Carolina I attended a donor recognition Champions Dinner for the Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA). While there I ran into legendary tennis player Stan Smith (who coached Jessie Pegula early in her career) and Palmetto Dunes golf pro Doug Weaver. Doug gave all three of our kids golf lessons when we visited Hilton Head 16 years ago!  While reminiscing with Doug I happened to mention my ruptured tendon on my thumb and he told me it shouldn’t affect my swing if I’m using the right grip strength. Grip lightly, he reminded me. 

The very next day I was invited to play golf by my church buddy Dan McMahon at Hampton Hall Golf Club.  Joining us was local football media personality Dan Cort and Myrtle Beach High School baseball coach John Haggerty. During the round I found out John lived in Pittsburgh and coached baseball at North Catholic High, and his wife worked at the school. I asked him if he knew my friend and former Steelers GM Kevin Colbert. He said, “Absolutely! Kevin is a big supporter of North Catholic and worked with my wife on some projects!” I said, “I literally just texted Kevin the day before to congratulate him on his recognition in the Steelers Hall of Honor!” By the way, I shot a 76, my lowest round in years. Grip lightly, my friends.

Fast forward to Friday night and we attended a PSU football watch party at the home of former Lion Ambassador Stephanie Dobis-Dennis. Another couple invited were her neighbors Pierre and Melanie McGuire. Pierre was an assistant coach when the Penguins won their first Stanley Cup and went on to be the head coach of the Hartford Whalers and a lead analyst for NBC Sports NHL broadcasts. Somehow, we got to talking about the Penguins charity celebrity hockey team and Kevin Colbert, who played for them, came up in the conversation. Pierre said, “Kevin and I belonged to the same golf club in Pittsburgh and he’s a great friend!” Yup, can’t make this stuff up!

While many may call what is described above as “coincidences,” my wife and I remain convinced that these happenings are what we call “God Incidences.” The pattern and connections suggest these encounters are much more than coincidences. We are solidly aligned with our NCIS hero Leroy Jethro Gibbs’ Rule #39: “There is no such thing as a coincidence.”