Excitement. Anxiety. Laughter. Panic. Old friends. New friends. Stress. School shopping. Frantic schedules. New teachers. Music lessons. Sport practices. New teammates. Buying books. Finding Classrooms. Drop/Add. Ah, the emotions of the transition to a new academic year, whether K-12 or college. Late August and early September have always been a time of a “natural” transition for as long as I can remember. As we move from the end of summer vacation and transition back to school and prepare for the fall, this time of year is never dull.
Transitions, especially “life” transitions, bring out the gamut of emotions no matter how many times we deal with them. For parents getting their kids ready for school, whether it’s pre-school or sending them off to college, the start of the new year typically brings about angst and a lot of unknowns. I am here to encourage you to take a deep breath, reach out for assistance as needed and to have the courage to be open-minded and to perhaps try new ways to handle the transitions.
You basically have three choices when facing transition time:
1. Embrace the transition and have a solutions-based mindset.
2. Ignore the transition and let things play out.
3. Fear the transition and worry yourself over things you may not even be able to control and that may never come to pass.
Each has its consequences. Choose wisely.
This past year has been the Super Bowl of transitions for our family, so we have had little choice but to embrace change. We sold our home of 30 years, our two oldest moved to Washington, D.C. and Alexandria, Virginia, respectively, and our youngest is starting his final semester of college. The good news: no mortgage, no car payments, no tuition payments! Hey Dave Ramsay, “We‘re debt free!” All we need now is for our youngest son, Ryan, to finalize a job at this year’s Smeal College of Business Supply Chain Job Fair and all three kids will be off the payroll. Looking forward to checking off that box.
Ryan has just returned from a summer internship in Minneapolis and has moved into his fall semester apartment with his best friends, some from high school and some from college. After a summer of Twins baseball games, the 3M Golf Classic, concerts, hanging out at the lakes, playing golf at some nice golf courses and, yes, learning about global supply chain from the largest medical technology company in the world, it’s time to hit the books once again. His mom is having a harder time with this than he is because her “baby” is going to be finishing college.
The best news for us: We have sent in our final college tuition payment. Freedom!
Football season at Penn State will certainly have a different feel for us this year. We will be at Beaver Stadium in person for some (while visiting friends and family), while for others we will likely be watching with PSU alumni chapters in the Lowcountry (in our home in Bluffton, South Carolina) and Washington, D.C. (when visiting our oldest two Penn Staters). Most other Penn State sports we’ll have to watch online and read about when friends send us updates.
There are other transitions we will deal with as we move into a new home in South Carolina. Nine months ago, it was just dirt, and our future lagoon was a giant mud pit. Today it’s a beautiful lagoon with egrets, blue herons and cranes. It also has its own baby alligator. That puts fear into many especially with the recent news that someone in Bluffton was attacked by a large adult alligator. First rule of living near a lagoon: Don’t walk your little dog close to the water. Don’t worry, Barkley will be spending his time at the dog park!
We met our new Daisy Lane neighbors during a happy hour potluck at our clubhouse on a recent vacation to Hilton Head Island. There are about 20 new homes on our street and three of the families are Penn Staters! Our new neighborhood is called “Sanctuary Cove” and we hope our transition to this new active adult lifestyle will live up to that name. We hope this transition will provide us the activities, peace of mind and new opportunities we desire as we enter the fourth quarter of our lives.
Now it’s time for my annual reminder to parents to let your kids be kids, let your teachers teach and let coaches coach. Only intervene when absolutely necessary, and when your little darlings (or know-it-all teenagers) tell you their version of a story, be the adult in the room and figure you are getting half the story at best. Our nationwide teacher, coach and referee shortage is happening for several reasons, but everyone agrees the number one reason is unreasonable parents.
I recently spoke at the PIAA Officials Conference in Harrisburg to about 400 officials and referees from a whole host of sports including basketball, soccer, baseball, football, field hockey, lacrosse and more. At one particular part of my speech, I implored everyone to work together for the good of the students.
“Officials and referees, coaches, athletes, and athletic administrators, we must unite to battle a common foe: Parents!” The room roared in laughter but also because they know it’s very true to a large extent.
Let kids and young adults learn lessons. Let them learn that it’s OK to fail, to get knocked down, to have to take one step back to go two steps forward at times. Teach them delayed gratification and the importance of sacrifice. There are certain battles they are better learning to fight themselves, so they gain the self-confidence to be self-sufficient and independent.
Give them roots and wings.
It’s transition time once again, folks. Regardless of your own circumstances, I hope you will choose to embrace it.
