This year, while we in Happy Valley went about our nice, normal, safe Halloween routines, the French committed a massacre. They did away with Halloween <96> at least in France. Like a good mob hit, it was a coordinated effort. French costumer companies, toy makers, and media outlets, lead by activist group <93>Non a Halloween<94> and the Catholic Church (very Di Vinci Code) attacked the holiday, portraying it as an American bad habit characterized by consumption and the mass consumption of sugary sweets.
Like somehow consumption of sweets is a bad thing. To me, food and celebration go hand in hand. It is an important way that we experience things, whether we<92>re celebrating an occasion, going on a vacation, or getting to know a new place to live.
State College has its own unique culinary makeup. There are certain things that we do well. Pulled pork BBQ, for example. You just don<92>t find it as frequently or as lovingly done in other areas of PA as you do in State College. Or take the chicken salad. There is an invisible line that divides PA, the whereabouts of which I<92>m not 100% sure, but somewhere along route 80 between Bloomsburg and State College, the concept of a <93>chicken salad<94> transforms from a relatively healthy serving of grilled chicken on greens to an orgy of melted cheese, French fries, and onion rings served on a hopelessly overwhelmed bed of lettuce. I think it<92>s safe to say that <93>tailgating style<94> grill food is the core strength in the prevailing State College palette.
So, why can<92>t I find a good pizza in State College? More than a section header, this is a desperate cry for help.
Pizza dates back as early as 6th Century B.C., and it has probably been in the Italian diet since the Stone Age, but the kind of pizza we<92>re really concerned with is American pizza. The first U.S. pizzeria opened in 1905, naturally in New York City. Somewhere between Italy and the States, the cheese got flipped on top (it was traditionally underneath the tomatoes) and the whole ordeal was baked flat and crispy, a simple combination of tomato, mozzarella, and dough<85>with whatever else you want on top.
Doesn<92>t sound hard, does it? But like many great things, it<92>s simple to execute, very difficult to perfect. There are in my opinion a few basic commandments of really good pizza construction:
The Five Commandments of Pizza
I) Thou shalt not make the crust too thick. We<92>re making pizza here, not bread. (Does not apply to Sicilian pizza, which is a whole other article.)
II) Thou shalt not pile on too much sauce. Granted, this flies in the face of the U.S. <93>more is better” ethic, but too much sauce throws off the balance of the pie and makes the whole thing a soggy mess.
III) Thou shalt not add cheese and re-bake after the pizza has been baked. It<92>s a shame we have to even mention this one. Some unscrupulous pizza dealers will take an old pie and throw a new layer of mozzarella on top, melt it in the oven, and try to pass it off as fresh. This results in layers of cheese like the crust of the earth, with a thick gooey cover and a luke-warm mantel of sub-cheese. It<92>s not pretty.
IV) Thine sauce shall neither be too sweet or too salty. If it is, we think you<92>re trying to hide something under those spices.
V) Thou shalt cook thine pizza till it is no longer doughy. This is the biggest challenge facing second string pizza dealers today. They just don<92>t leave it in long enough for it to get crispy. Are there really people out there that want the pizza floppy and drippy?
The point is, the food we eat makes big part of the overall impression an experience has on us and personally, I will not be truly comfortable in State College until I find a good Chinese food place (that<92>s a whole other column) and a great little pizza joint.
My State College native friends have tried to help. They<92>ve recommended that I go to one local pizza place named after their delivery service and another pizza place named after a type of road<85>neither experience was anywhere near satisfying. Of course, there is another pizza place named after the moon that<92>s pretty good. But really, that<92>s <93>fancy pizza<94> <96> the kind of pizza place that has specialty varieties of pizza on its menu that include artichoke and lemon chicken. What we want is the kind of pizza place that has that image of the Italian guy with the handlebar mustache flipping a pie on its menu, in one-color red ink to stimulate the appetite. (Red has been proven to stimulate the appetite.) So fancy pizza is nice, but we<92>re looking for a really good plain and simple pie, the kind you get every Friday so you don<92>t have to cook and because it<92>s practically as cheap as buying food for the family at a grocery store. (We<92>ve tried the grocery store pizza too <96> fogedaboutit.)
Since I<92>ve moved to State College, I<92>m 146 miles further away from the center of all life <96> the City (in this case <93>The City<94> means NYC, not Phila.) To my NJ friends and family, moving here was like moving to Mars <96> a totally foreign and inhospitable environment bereft of the things that they have come to depend on. Like a good pizza. So, I leave it to you, the good citizens of Happy Valley. Tell me I<92>m wrong. Tell me I<92>m guilty of pizza snobbery. But most importantly, tell me where I can find a good pizza. I<92>m depending on your comments! Leave them below and we<92>ll discuss next week.
Read Justin<92>s blog from last week here.
Justin is a writer with a background as a theatre guy and a career as a marketing guy. He moved to State College, PA a little over three months ago and resides with his lovely wife, many small children, and big, crazy dog.
Comments, questions, corrections, praise and adulation? The Newcomer Blog cares what you think!
Send an e-mail or post comments below.
Like somehow consumption of sweets is a bad thing. To me, food and celebration go hand in hand. It is an important way that we experience things, whether we<92>re celebrating an occasion, going on a vacation, or getting to know a new place to live.
State College has its own unique culinary makeup. There are certain things that we do well. Pulled pork BBQ, for example. You just don<92>t find it as frequently or as lovingly done in other areas of PA as you do in State College. Or take the chicken salad. There is an invisible line that divides PA, the whereabouts of which I<92>m not 100% sure, but somewhere along route 80 between Bloomsburg and State College, the concept of a <93>chicken salad<94> transforms from a relatively healthy serving of grilled chicken on greens to an orgy of melted cheese, French fries, and onion rings served on a hopelessly overwhelmed bed of lettuce. I think it<92>s safe to say that <93>tailgating style<94> grill food is the core strength in the prevailing State College palette.
So, why can<92>t I find a good pizza in State College? More than a section header, this is a desperate cry for help.
Pizza dates back as early as 6th Century B.C., and it has probably been in the Italian diet since the Stone Age, but the kind of pizza we<92>re really concerned with is American pizza. The first U.S. pizzeria opened in 1905, naturally in New York City. Somewhere between Italy and the States, the cheese got flipped on top (it was traditionally underneath the tomatoes) and the whole ordeal was baked flat and crispy, a simple combination of tomato, mozzarella, and dough<85>with whatever else you want on top.
Doesn<92>t sound hard, does it? But like many great things, it<92>s simple to execute, very difficult to perfect. There are in my opinion a few basic commandments of really good pizza construction:
The Five Commandments of Pizza
I) Thou shalt not make the crust too thick. We<92>re making pizza here, not bread. (Does not apply to Sicilian pizza, which is a whole other article.)
II) Thou shalt not pile on too much sauce. Granted, this flies in the face of the U.S. <93>more is better” ethic, but too much sauce throws off the balance of the pie and makes the whole thing a soggy mess.
III) Thou shalt not add cheese and re-bake after the pizza has been baked. It<92>s a shame we have to even mention this one. Some unscrupulous pizza dealers will take an old pie and throw a new layer of mozzarella on top, melt it in the oven, and try to pass it off as fresh. This results in layers of cheese like the crust of the earth, with a thick gooey cover and a luke-warm mantel of sub-cheese. It<92>s not pretty.
IV) Thine sauce shall neither be too sweet or too salty. If it is, we think you<92>re trying to hide something under those spices.
V) Thou shalt cook thine pizza till it is no longer doughy. This is the biggest challenge facing second string pizza dealers today. They just don<92>t leave it in long enough for it to get crispy. Are there really people out there that want the pizza floppy and drippy?
The point is, the food we eat makes big part of the overall impression an experience has on us and personally, I will not be truly comfortable in State College until I find a good Chinese food place (that<92>s a whole other column) and a great little pizza joint.
My State College native friends have tried to help. They<92>ve recommended that I go to one local pizza place named after their delivery service and another pizza place named after a type of road<85>neither experience was anywhere near satisfying. Of course, there is another pizza place named after the moon that<92>s pretty good. But really, that<92>s <93>fancy pizza<94> <96> the kind of pizza place that has specialty varieties of pizza on its menu that include artichoke and lemon chicken. What we want is the kind of pizza place that has that image of the Italian guy with the handlebar mustache flipping a pie on its menu, in one-color red ink to stimulate the appetite. (Red has been proven to stimulate the appetite.) So fancy pizza is nice, but we<92>re looking for a really good plain and simple pie, the kind you get every Friday so you don<92>t have to cook and because it<92>s practically as cheap as buying food for the family at a grocery store. (We<92>ve tried the grocery store pizza too <96> fogedaboutit.)
Since I<92>ve moved to State College, I<92>m 146 miles further away from the center of all life <96> the City (in this case <93>The City<94> means NYC, not Phila.) To my NJ friends and family, moving here was like moving to Mars <96> a totally foreign and inhospitable environment bereft of the things that they have come to depend on. Like a good pizza. So, I leave it to you, the good citizens of Happy Valley. Tell me I<92>m wrong. Tell me I<92>m guilty of pizza snobbery. But most importantly, tell me where I can find a good pizza. I<92>m depending on your comments! Leave them below and we<92>ll discuss next week.
Read Justin<92>s blog from last week here.
Justin is a writer with a background as a theatre guy and a career as a marketing guy. He moved to State College, PA a little over three months ago and resides with his lovely wife, many small children, and big, crazy dog.
Comments, questions, corrections, praise and adulation? The Newcomer Blog cares what you think!
Send an e-mail or post comments below.
