Words of wisdom and inspiration can come from unexpected places.
I remember driving back to State College from Pittsburgh one late Friday night in the years after college, passing time and listening to talk radio. The host was a psychologist who offered advice to people who called in, not unlike the 80s sitcom “Frasier.” In response to a caller who was having some relationship difficulties, the psychologist said, “The person who loves the least will always control the relationship.” That comment has stuck with me and I’ve quoted it in conversations with my kids and my students.
In another example, I was a working (full-time) mother of two, trying to fit in graduate studies around my family and my job. I grabbed a Collegian as I rushed out of class one day and read it on my lunch hour at work. The words from an opinion piece, written by a young Penn State student, stay with me: “Women don’t want to be treated like men. Women want to be treated as equal to men.” The feminist movement summed up in 17 words by a 19-year-old kid. Incredible.
Typically, words of wisdom don’t come from anyone famous or with any fanfare. They are truthful, make sense and are presented in a way that make us remember them.
Last week, I had another one of those “I’m going to remember that” moments.
Two years ago, my now-14-year-old son announced that he wanted to play lacrosse. He had played soccer, had been on the ski race team at Tussey Mountain and tried youth wrestling. His dad and I are firm believers in kids experiencing a variety of opportunities—contrary to the growing trend of putting pressure on kids to specialize and play one sport year round. We knew nothing about sticks, the crease, long stick D, or shots on goal, but we learned. He loves the sport as he’s learning, too.
Centre Lacrosse (CLax), the youth lacrosse league serving kids in Centre County, started with a conversation in 2007. Tom Scordato, the current Bellefonte High School lacrosse coach, and Dave Jackson, a PSU employee and lacrosse fan, decided that this area needed a youth program. Inter-scholastic teams at both Bellefonte and State College area high schools had only recently made the move from club sports to official teams. Tom and Dave both played lacrosse and wanted to start a program in this community and for their sons. Mary Ann Harvey jumped on board soon after to lead the girls program.
The inaugural season in spring 2008 saw 80 boys and girls in fifth through eighth grades; it jumped to 146 kids in grades 3-8 this past season. CLax also added a winter fun league for kids to work on skills indoors. And, for the past two years, CLax and the men’s and women’s Penn State lacrosse teams have co-sponsored a pre-season skills clinic for area kids. With the collaboration from the coaches at Bellefonte, State College Area High School and CLax, Thursday evenings in the summer at Tudek Park are all about lacrosse. It’s amazing what has happened in just three years.
Each year, both the boys and the girls programs at CLax have picked a day during the spring season and invited another nearby youth program for a day of events. The teams play games all day, then join us for a pre-game Penn State lacrosse tailgate. Finally, the players have an opportunity to go out on the field at half time at Jeffrey Field. The PSU lacrosse players and their families appreciate our enthusiasm in the stands.
“Centre” is the operative word in CLax. We have made friends with players and their families from Bellefonte who play on the same teams as the kids from State College. There have been talks to expand into Philipsburg and Penns Valley.
As with any new program, there have been growing pains. Finding space to play in this sports-oriented region is difficult. Local churches, the school districts, and Centre Region Parks and Recreation have helped out. Finding coaches who have experience with the game and who are willing to give their time is a hurdle with any youth sport, as is finding the balance between competition and skill development.
This past week, Centre Lacrosse provided me with one of those “I’m going to remember that” moments.
I’ve written about the disturbing trends in youth sports in the past. Dads gone bad. Moms gone wrong. Burn out, injuries and stress from activities that are supposed to be fun. Kids quitting because adults ruin the experience. (My favorite youth sports story is the wrestling mom I witnessed spanking her 7-year-old when he lost his match, but I’ll save that story for another day).
In an e-mail to the parents who have stepped up to help out as CLax continues to grow, Bellefonte Coach Tom Scordato, and soon-to-be ex-officio member of the CLax board, offered these thoughts:
Please remember if we become a venue for parents to live through their children’s actions and glory or to promote their own personal agenda for the betterment of the individual/their individual instead of the game, the individual instead of the TEAM, and the individual instead of Centre Lax (thus the game), or where winning at all costs becomes the prime directive, then we will fail miserably—even if the program functions year after year.
What if we pick the role of higher achievement? If we stick close to the roots of the game’s Native American heritage and remember—for all involve—to teach the love of the game first and to compete for something greater than the experience of simply winning, then this program will succeed beyond the goals that the founders originally envisioned. If we do, when we look back in 10-20-50 years, we will know we were part of a premier organization.
Wouldn’t it be great if kids, parents, coaches, and referees for all youth sports could live by these words of wisdom?
I’m going to remember that one.
