Chinese proverb: The woman who tells her age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to gain.
New Year’s Day was a big day for me. On Jan. 1, 2011, I celebrated my 50th birthday.
I remember when my grandmother turned 50. At the restaurant for her celebration, my dad informed the waitress that my grandmother was “half a century old.” At the time, I was seven years old and turning 50 sounded to me like she practically had one foot in the grave.
Now that I’m there, I’m embracing the concept that 50 is the “new” 40. I’m the last wave in the Silver Tsunami that is the aging Baby Boom generation. My cohort is maturing but we are staying healthy, active and involved in the mainstream culture. We married later, had children into our 30s and 40s and are not yet willing to pass the torch to the generations that came after us.
I am, as they say, 39, but with 11 years of experience.
Turning 50 changes one’s perspective. I have some different ways of thinking at 50 than I did at age 30.
- Children and animals should be loved and protected because they can’t do it themselves. Hearing news reports of children and animals being hurt or in want gets to me in ways that it didn’t when I was younger. I don’t, however, put animals and people on the same level. The dogs can go outside when I’m having a bad day. The kids cannot, although, looking back, I probably needed the time-outs more than they ever did.
- People do what they can to get to where they are going. I remember becoming frustrated when I was younger with decisions that people made, even if those choices had nothing to do with me. UGH. If only he wouldn’t do that! Why is she making that decision? At age 50, I have learned it’s wasted energy if it doesn’t impact me.
- Time. Talent. Treasure. How much I give and to whom have changed drastically. The list of places and people to whom I offer my resources seems to be growing as I get older. I’m also becoming more discriminating about where and with whom I spend my time in general.
- Amassing stuff takes way less of a focus as one gets older. Youth is about the importance of the make of the car, the right label and keeping up with the Joneses. Getting older is about simplifying, downsizing and rearranging priorities.
- Sometimes I can’t catch my breath when I realize my children don’t need me like they used to. At the same time, I am taken back by how proud I am of their choices and their independence. Being the parents of young adults is rewarding on a much more intellectual level than parenting infants and children. Yet I still like to smell their heads when they are sleeping.
- Family becomes way more important as one matures. We also start the sifting process of identifying those people who are truly friends and those who are merely acquaintances. New friendships are a pleasant surprise at any age.
- I’m more nervous about potential risk as I get older. Driving when the roads are icy. Designated drivers after a party. Getting on an airplane. The timing of my age-related anxiety is unfortunate with a 14-year-old son who likes high-risk leisure pursuits. On the upside, drama in the form of female roommate dynamics or occasional kid misbehavior is way less upsetting to me. I’m so over it.
- While the physical part of aging isn’t fun, I can still run a mile or so. My fingers aren’t as straight as they used to be, but they type just as fast and can now send a text message and work a touch screen.
- I’m a better writer at 50 than I was at 30.
- Thankfully, I haven’t hit the age where I’m planning a trip to Branson, Missouri, yet. I still know the words to current songs and have Lady Gaga, Eminem and Flo Rida on my iPod. At 50, it’s just more embarrassing to my children that I sing loudly in the car.
- I’m more incensed by stupid politicians, bad decisions by elected officials and by the government intruding in my personal business. Gloria Steinem said, “Women may be the one group that grows more radical with age.” She was right. I should have cared more when I was younger.
- One of the benefits of maturing is figuring out that most people aren’t out to get you. For the most part, we go along and focus on ourselves. In general, people don’t have the desire or energy to make you that important in their lives.
- At age 50, I’ve learned the importance and comfort in having a faith in something bigger than me.
- Don’t tell my students, but my age may mean I’m softening a little. The tears, the excuses and the negative consequences for their decisions do sometimes make me feel bad for them. Maybe it’s because I have two daughters in college now. Maybe it’s because I’m a little more seasoned.
- Reconnecting with people from your past takes on different importance as we age. I am “friends” on Facebook with classmates from high school who I didn’t know all that well or who hung out in different groups. Aging lets all of those adolescent lines and boundaries fade. Aging somehow motivates us to connect with people who share our past. Some of those people can still make me laugh like a teenager.
My 49th year was a good one. I had some wonderful career opportunities. I was offered new challenges. I was recognized by people I value for doing a good job. I was occasionally and kindly redirected – by family, by friends, by colleagues – for veering too far off my path.
I’m excited about the future.
Half a century old? Bring it on.
