“Oh Lord, it’s hard to be humble / But I’m doin’ the best that I can!” – Mac Davis
My wife and I have put almost 20,000 miles on our new Hyundai Santa Fe Hybrid since December. The good news is it practically drives itself, it really does get great gas mileage, is a quiet and comfortable ride and the sound system is terrific.
I know what you’re thinking: “Why not just fly?” We travel a lot by car because we really like having our dog, Barkley, with us instead of at a kennel, and he’s a great traveler. Unfortunately, the down side to getting to know the car so well is that we are constantly on the road. What have we discovered driving all these miles? People do things that really grind my gears!
We were discussing this topic during a recent dinner at the home of my former Penn State hockey teammate Glenn Destefano and his wife, Donna. Glenn laughingly quoted the Family Guy segment “You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?” featuring Peter Griffin. It inspired me to write this column on the really dumb and disrespectful things that people do that just make me “shake my head,” “ruffle my feathers,” “push my buttons,” and make me “mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!”
Let’s get this on the table right now: I am by no means perfect, and I am guilty of doing my share of stupid and sometimes immature things (for which I accept full responsibility). My wife, on the other hand, is often close to perfect (and she reminds me all the time). When someone asks Heidi, “How are you doing?” her favorite response is a hearty ,“I’m practically perfect in every way!” The older folks may remember that line from the 1964 Disney classic, “Mary Poppins.” But while I’m not perfect, in my mind at least, I have a better grip on common sense than most. Pretty full of myself, eh?
On our recent trip to Nashville, the cynical 1974 Mac Davis sing-along song, “Lord, it’s Hard to be Humble” came on the radio and reminded me of many a Saturday night listening to the Phyrst Phamily in State College. So, with a spirit of a half-joking but half-serious tone, here is my most recent list of things that really “grind my gears”:
- People who go below the speed limit and insist on driving in the left lane. It’s actually a law in many states that slower moving vehicles must drive in the right lane or that the left lane is for passing only. I brought up the question, “Why are you driving 40 mph in the left lane on a three-lane boulevard with a 50-mph speed limit?” to a group of neighbors. One said, “Because I’m going to be turning left for the Aldi.” The Aldi is 7 miles away!
- Drivers who still don’t understand what a zipper merge is and how it’s so much more efficient. Just use both lanes and take turns at the merge point, people!
- People who never use their turn signals and those who don’t use them in a timely manner. You know the ones I’m talking about. If they would have signaled in advance you could have made that left turn (and so could several others). But instead, you get stuck waiting for the next change of lights.
- People with no situational awareness. You know, the ones who go grocery shopping and leave their carts in the middle of the aisle while they are bending over to read the fine print on a bottom shelf product. No one can get by them. Occasionally I will be proactive and simply move their cart so the rest of us can continue to shop. Then the shopper gets indignant and says something like “don’t you touch my cart; that’s my cart.” You try to be kind and tell them that they were blocking the aisle, and they get more irritated at you as though you just invaded their personal space. I’m betting they are also the people who don’t put shopping carts away and leave them in the parking space next to their car.
- People who still forget to silence their cell phones in public places.
…You know what else really grinds my gears?
- Getting products out of the remarkably unopenable hard plastic packaging. You basically need a table saw or a laser just to get those new scissors out of their packaging.
- How about this newer phenomenon that drives me crazy: People recording TikTok videos in public, especially when they are taking away others ability to enjoy the space. It’s not just your world and, no, I don’t want to live in it!
- Young people who think they know it all. I know all you young people have all the answers, and if you don’t, you believe Siri, Alexa or AI do. While modern technology clearly has its benefits, especially for providing information, in many cases it lacks experience, context and intuition. There are many times when you can learn more from someone who earned a degree from the “School of Hard Knocks” than a 25-year-old Ph.D. who lacks real life experience (especially outside of academia). So, before you dismiss the advice you can get from “seasoned” folk, maybe you ought to consider slowing down and listening to them.
- Senior citizens (possibly including me), who think they know it all. While we can all learn lessons (good and bad) from observing and listening to elders, beware the curmudgeon who is bitter about the hand they believe the world has dealt them. You will recognize them fairly quickly from their sarcasm, cynicism and generally bad attitude. You can often find a gem from these folks, but run away from the “Get off my grass!” nasty ones.
- Stubborn people. They do the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome and then blame their misfortune on everyone else. This includes our government (because the masses have become so jaded that people believe all government employees are inept), corporations (because we have been taught that they are ALL greedy) and billionaires (because we believe they are all soulless scoundrels). Some people are simply energy drainers. I really try not to give up hope for anyone but there comes a time when we do have to simply walk away.
- Lazy people. Today’s lack of work ethic and perseverance really frustrates me. Parents you’re not doing your kids any favors by sheltering now from the world. Yes, work ethic still matters. It teaches them responsibility. It teaches them how to fall down and get back up again.
- Lack of common courtesy and mutual respect. We just live in such a narcissistic, self-centered, and quite frankly, rude era. While walking Barkley on a visit to see family in Pittsburgh, I noticed a neighbor left their trash out on their curb in plastic bags instead of putting them inside the provided large, covered bin (that all other neighbors used). The next morning animals had ripped the bags apart and created a mess all over the street.
- People who pump gas, then leave their car at the pump while they go into the store, preventing others from being able to pump gas. It’s just plain rude. The worst offenders are those that go inside at places like Sheetz or Wawa and end up ordering food and taking their time shopping!
You do know that I’m just having a bad day and needed to vent right? Yeah, I didn’t think you’d fall for that. In the end, most of these frustrations that a lot of us deal with would be resolved if we just treated each other with more respect, accepted responsibility for our own actions, and slowed down a little and showed more kindness.
For now, I’ll just keep reading my framed Serenity Prayer each morning to attempt to be more empathetic and sympathetic, since not everyone is as practically perfect in every way as me. Oh Lord, it really is hard to be humble sometimes!
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. – Reinhold Niebuhr
