Months Later, a Stressful Reminder

I was sitting on my couch after a long day last Tuesday. I had gone to yoga after work and then came home, took a shower and put on my sweats. I was settling in with book on the couch with the TV news on in the background and it came over me like a wave.

Sweaty palms. Heart racing. Anxiety. At first, I couldn’t figure out what was going on. And then it dawned on me. The news.

The news was broadcasting live from Las Vegas and they were replaying scenes from the October mass shooting.

I was in Las Vegas with a group of 13 Penn State students and another faculty member on the night of that shooting.

Before I continue, it is important to note that at no time were any of us at risk. So often we hear people who were on the periphery of news stories inserting themselves into the story. Out of respect for the real victims and their families, it is important to me that our exposure not be presented as more than it was.

It was, however, a little too close for comfort.

We had arrived to Las Vegas the evening before for the travel portion of a course in which we partner with practitioners in the resort industry. We were studying guest reactions to on-site amenities and recreation programs. The final project would be developed after the trip and presented to the resort managers at the end of the semester.

Oct. 1 was our second night in the city.  After a long day of activities, we had called it quits. Ironically, we had earlier noted that we could hear the concert music as we walked back from dinner. I had fallen asleep in my room when I was awakened by a persistent knocking on my door. When I opened the door, one of our industry colleagues was there and looked concerned. “There is an active shooter on the strip and they aren’t sure where or how many there are.”

Under times of stress, our biological reactions kick in to improve our strength, our awareness and our focus to better fight off the “enemy.” I quickly went into problem solving mode. Where are the students and are they safe? Through text messages and calls, my co-instructor and I learned that all of our students were on site – most in their rooms. They all responded to our request to stay in their rooms and to lock down until further information was available.

It still makes me weak in the knees to think that if the incident had happened the evening of our arrival when the students had gone out investigating the Las Vegas experience, our situation could have been very different.

In a short time, we learned that there was only one shooter and the threat was over.  I urged everyone to either call or text their friends and family at home. With the time change, I didn’t want parents (or Penn State administrators) waking up to the news of a mass shooting, with no contact from their children.  

The property where we were staying had taken in concert goers who had run from the scene, turning their lobby into a medical triage and safe place. When we gathered for breakfast the next morning, the lobby showed no sign of any upset. Through some tears and some anxiety, we decided to take the morning off and looked for a way to help. We learned that the wait to donate blood was between six and eight hours. The authorities in Las Vegas had asked visitors to “continue in our city of tourism” so we resumed our activities later in the afternoon.    

Eventually, our trip and the course continued on as planned. We left Las Vegas and made our way to California and flew home from Los Angeles. We learned a lot and, overall, had an amazing experience.  

On our last night in California, the students had some free time. Our industry contact and I finally had the opportunity to sit and review our week. The TV was on in the background. At one point, we stopped and looked at each other with wide eyes. We had been so busy all week, we hadn’t seen the news or more detailed reports of the tragedy. The numbers of people killed and injured. The stories of heroism.  It remains horrifying.

They say that people who share an experience like ours often see a deepening of their relationships. I watched this group of students became extremely close. Was it the shared close-call or just a great group of young people? We’ll never know. After an amazing semester, followed by their outstanding presentations last week, I could not be more proud. This group will always be a little special to me.  

Our brains and our bodies do interesting things to protect us from threat or even perceived threat. I hadn’t considered the impact that being just blocks away from a major tragedy might have. Seeing it again on the news brought back feelings and the memories of that night. Watching it again on TV made it all just a little too close.