The holiday season is a time to reflect on the joys of life and gather with family and friends, near and far. However, stressors such as traveling with children, as well as tight finances, limited time and family circumstances, can impact an otherwise joyous time of year.
Here are a few tips to reduce the impact of these factors, allowing families to maximize their well-being and make the most of their “togetherness” during the holidays.
Not surprisingly, the first tip on this list is to be present.
Research supports the importance of this and other “micro-gestures,” such as snuggling with your child and showing compassion to your family members. Researchers, led by Penn State’s Dr. Zita Oravecz, recruited nearly 500 American adults in this profound study. They found that behavioral actions, rather than purely verbal expressions, were more highly regarded as indicators of love.
PREPARE
Evaluate your child’s needs and potential triggers. Does your child need a few hours of down time every day?
Staying at friend’s holiday party all day may be problematic. A child’s major meltdown in front of friends and family can be avoided if parents opt to stay at the holiday party for a shorter, pre-determined amount of time.
Try your best to anticipate what your child’s needs may be and plan your holiday accordingly.
VERBALIZE EXPECTATIONS
Keep your child informed of your plans. Children react more favorably when they know what to expect.
If you have plans every day of the winter break, consider writing them out on your family calendar or create a visual schedule of these events for younger children.
Additionally, verbalize clear and reasonable behavioral expectations. If the rule in your home is to treat others with kindness, it can be easily translated to holiday gatherings.
Remember, keep your expectations and rules stated positively by explaining what children are expected to do, rather than focusing on what they are not allowed to do. “Wash your hands before lunch” is a more positive way to elicit good hygiene from children than stating something such as, “Don’t come to the table with dirty hands.”
Jessica Dirsmith is a certified school psychologist. She practices in the State College Area School District and also teaches at Penn State.
