The New Normal

I’m not usually a big fan of the word “normal.”  

Normal. That which is customary, expected or typical. The word “normal” historically has been used in a negative context for those who don’t conform, particularly people who are different. In graduate school, I took a whole course called Abnormal Psychology and, needless to say, it was all about conditions and diagnoses that fall outside of the bell curve. People with disabilities are often referred to as not being normal or mainstream. We often negatively identify outliers or atypical trends – especially people who fall outside of typical patterns of development and behavior – as not being normal.

In most instances, the concept of normal is tied to what is usual and acceptable.  

But, there is what we come to recognize as the “new” normal. The shifting patterns of what becomes customary or expected after either a major change or a gradual evolution in our culture and society. Out with the old, in with the new. How and what and who we used to define as normal are no longer.

Take for example the ability to drive around Happy Valley. The new normal in State College for the past few months means construction, orange cones, and men and women in reflector vests repairing the roads and fixing the sidewalks and streets. Almost every road into downtown State College is currently under some kind of construction. With the arrival of warm weather, the new normal is leaving one’s house earlier, planning for delays and yoga breathing in the car to ward off the frustration of limited access lanes and people who don’t understand how to merge.

Consider the new normal of how we communicate. We’ve become a technologically focused society. We text. We email. We snap and chat. We have multiple screens and multiple tabs while multitasking and oversharing.  The new normal has meant miscommunication between the generations as young people are no longer developing or relying on the interpersonal, face-to-face skills that we seasoned citizens grew up with valuing. The new normal is 140 characters, emojis and a decreasing sense of connection with the other people who inhabit our planet.

The new normal is political dissension, rancor and a divide that this country has never before seen. Our new normal means a media that people don’t trust and a jaded view of what is real and what is fake information coming from that media. The new normal is a president who doesn’t play by any rule — or etiquette — book.

I’m not sure if I like the old normal of elected officials who spin, polish and provide us with information through the filter of a public relations machine any better than the raw, defensive, socially immature, social media postings coming out of the White House in today’s new normal.  Our new normal is to fight — vehemently and with disregard and disrespect to people who disagree with us. The new normal is to denigrate the opposition on a personal level with hate and malice.

The new normal is to read and hear about acts of terrorism, suicide bombers and people with guns walking into schools and workplaces and hospitals and then, because it hasn’t come into our immediate circle, going on about life as usual.

There are many days I long for the old normal.

From how we watch TV to how we shop, we are experiencing the new normal. Our definitions of what is normal in the workplace, at home and in our interpersonal interactions are constantly changing.

In the past several years, my  personal “normal” has evolved significantly. Empty nesting is a new normal. My day to day is decidedly new. What is normal in our house — groceries, laundry and even how much access I have to my own car — is taking on a whole new direction. My kids tease me and say that the new normal at our house is Mom’s obsession with the dogs. The new normal, for those of us in middle age, means less concern about our children and more concern about our parents. It means a more heightened focus on health and exercise and less of a focus amassing stuff and status. My new normal is about finding those people who care and connect and pulling them into my life circles.

A new normal implies change. We know change is difficult and uncomfortable but is inherently a part of our growth and progression. Jack Welch, noted businessman and author, said it best.  “Change before you have to.” Change is the new normal.